Title: Look After You
Author: ravenxmen / n7cdrsheppard

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Summary:
Sheppard is in need of rescue. When the IOA forbids it, mutiny ensues. Rodney
struggles to keep a promise. Sheppard's team teaches him (Sheppard)
his true worth. Beg. of season 5. Loose time line, not specific.

Type/Pairing:
Friendship; Sheppard, McKay, Beckett, Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, Zelenka,
Woolsey, Weir
Hurt/comfort /Angst/humor

Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death implied, strong language, graphic
descriptions
Note: I have opted to use Carson, rather than Jennifer.
Not a big Keller fan. Sorry.
Disclaimer: I do not own and do not profit from any SGA characters.
Word count: 31,317


Look After You



******************CHAPTER 1

Zelenka threw his hands up in frustration. "Kuz svinstvo! Sakra
Rodney!" He cussed in Czech. The power relay sputtered weakly like
the last twitch in a dying animal. Proè jsem ještì zkusit? I just
don't vidìt! Co je to možné?

He looked at his watch. It was time to dial Atlantis.
Zelenka punched in the address to the DHD and waited for the flash.
At this point, he wanted to run screaming right into the gate and not
come back. He resisted the urge.

The Inhabitants had been very good to Atlantis; providing rare
items that could not be obtained elsewhere. He wondered if they liked
him a bit better than Rodney. Everyone was still smiling and bringing
him things to eat, leading him to wonder how previous visits had gone
since Rodney had always come back in a bad mood.

"Atlantis, this is Zelenka. Do you read?"

"McKay here. Status?"

"I can't make it work. Either it has been damaged beyond repair or I
am missing something."He said with surrender.

"What do you mean you can't make it work? How hard can it be? You
have done this a dozen times." Rodney scoffed.

"Not here. Not on this device. It is concerning me."

"What? Is it saying rude things to you? Come on, you know what to do.
Just think it through. It is not that hard!"

Zelenka tried to keep his voice down. "Rodney, you are not
listening! There is something different in the energy signature. Like
some sort of carrier wave. It is blocking its function somehow. I
have not seen this sort of thing. Not on tech like this. I can't
isolate it without damaging the entire unit. It is not included on
the specs you have given me. Please, I need you to take a look at it."

"I just can't do that right now. You are going to have to deal with
it."

"Rodney, I have a bad feeling…"He said quietly.

"Look, is it going to blow up?"Rodney's sarcasm began to bloom.

"No, I don't think so."

"Is it on fire?"

"No, it is not. Not yet anyway."

"Look, try the Sheppard approach."

"And that would be?"

"Turn it off then back on again. See if it will power up directly
from zed."

Zelenka took a deep breath. "Even though that is insulting, I have
tried it. Never mind. I will see what I can come up with, but don't
be surprised if you have to come after all. It was your turn you
know."

"Yeah and I felt like taking a pass on podunk backwater electrical
repair. You'll be fine. Check in say…In an hour?"

"Alright. One hour. But if it is not working, you must come."

"Fine. McKay out."

Rodney leaned back from the control panel. He was irritated.
Sheppard was about to add to it.

"Why the pouty face McKay?" Sheppard asked as he appeared in front of
Rodney with a mischievous grin.

"What do you want because I am kind of busy." He said defensively as
he glanced at his still uneaten doughnut, sitting nearby.

"Wow, you are pouty McKay! Hey, I just heard my name…Something about
the Sheppard approach. Thought you might be baggin' on me. Were you?"
He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Me, ah…No, not really." Rodney flashed an innocent look.

"Mmm, `not really'…Very convincing. " Sheppard also noticed the
doughnut. " Speaking of that, why are you always so hard on Radek?
He's a good guy and quite good at what he does. Sometimes better
than…"

"He is not better!" Rodney blurted indignantly.

Sheppard grinned. "Calm down McKay. At any rate, you're still hard on
him. Why?"

"Hard on him? He just needs to be pushed once in a while. It makes
him work better. " Rodney said, as if it was a matter of fact.

"Like when I give you crap?" Sheppard asked as he picked up the sugar
coated confection and took a big bite, trying to be obvious in his
enjoyment.

Rodney watched in secret horror. He didn't dare try to reach for his
breakfast. "Yeah, kinda like that I guess."

Sheppard began to move away. "Hey, Don't be late to the briefing.
Woolsey gets pissed when you do." He said, chewing down another bite.

"He has only been here a few weeks and he is already put out of
shape? How long is he gonna last?" Rodney sniped.

Sheppard pointed at him, doughnut still in hand and on the way out of
the room. "Don't be late McKay. And don't be hard on him either.
Atlantis will do that all on its own.' His lanky figure disappeared
around a corner.

Rodney watched him go."Yeah, no kidding." He mumbled, mourning his
doughnut.

*******

Rodney dropped himself down in his chair post briefing."Well
that was a complete waste of my time!" He grumbled. "Military this…
Military that! Sheppard didn't need me there. I should just give him
a sharp stick so he can poke me…Oh crap! Zelenka! What time is it?
Two hours? It can't be!"

He clicked his head set to life. "Chuck, did Zelenka call in?"

"Just when you talked with him. Were you expecting him to check in so
soon afterward?"

"Yes. I will be right there." Rodney felt uneasy. He walked quickly
from his lab to the control room and parked himself in front of the
sensor console.
He pulled up the long range data. His face went pale
as he activated his head set."Sheppard! Woolsey! I need you in the
control room immediately! We have Wraith!"

*******

Sheppard set the jumper down near a grove of thick, burgundy
colored trees and quickly stood up from the pilot seat. The afternoon
light outside illuminated his angular face as he looked at his team.
He focused on the marines in the back of the ship.

"I want to scout the area. We move quietly in two teams of three.
Ronon, I want you to cover us from behind. Teyla, watch the ship.
Beckett, stay with McKay and stay in contact. We fall back to the
jumper at the first sign of Wraith or hostile contact. McKay, check
the DHD. We have no sign of Wraith at the moment but be on your
guard. Jumper two is standing by in orbit in case we need them.
Understood?"

Every one nodded and proceeded to exit the rear hatch. Sheppard
looked firmly at Rodney "Report immediately if you find anything."

Rodney's guilt flashed on his face."Sheppard, I am so…"

Armed and ready, Sheppard took a step towards him and softened his
expression."Now is not the time, besides, you couldn't have known.
We'll find him McKay. Stay alert and keep the shield up."
Sheppard disappeared out the hatch.

Rodney sighed and turned to Carson for some sort of direction.
Carson put his hand on Rodney's shoulder.

"Sheppard's right. We will find him. Have faith."

Rodney stared out the cockpit window in a rare moment of self
examination. "I know. I hope…Why am I such a selfish bastard? I know
the risks…What was I thinking? Oh, wait! I was thinking of myself…He
didn't deserve this."

"Rodney, stop it. Trust the Colonel. If anyone can find him, Sheppard
can. Let's go take a look. Come on."

Rodney snapped out of his self loathing and followed the doctor.
They wandered out a few yards and scanned the nearby area; now burned
to the ground. The small station that housed the damaged power
console was now a blackened mass of metal. It was useless. There was
no sign of life. The Wraith had taken considerable more time in
eradicating any evidence.

Rodney walked to the DHD and examined the data available. It had
suffered weapons damage but was still functional. He guessed it took
a parting shot as the Wraith left. With great effort he was able to
find a few addresses still intact.
As he turned back toward the ship, he gasped. The readings on his
data pad defied his imagination.

"Carson…I can't quite believe what I am seeing…Look at this!"

"What? What is that?" He asked, staring at the image in Rodney's
hands.

"What makes a hive special…Why is it called a hive?" He asked,
looking fearful.

"I don't know?...A hive is…A collective…A group…It has chambers?"

"Bingo! Look." Rodney pointed at the pattern displayed.

"That can't be?" Carson's confusion cleared. "We need to leave!"

"Yeah, look at the ground! This is too strange!" He activated his
head set."Sheppard! Fall back now! I have something!"

Sheppard and his team members met back within a few moments. He
entered the jumper, breathing quickly. "What have you got?"

"They were underground Sheppard! The Wraith, they were waiting
underground. Looks like a chamber for soldiers…Like a repository. I
think the villagers had absolutely no warning. Nothing came out of
the gate right away. They just came out of the ground and surrounded
them. The chambers ring the entire settlement."

Sheppard's face tightened with discomfort. "Son of a bitch! How
creepy is that?… They were just lying in wait?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney grimaced."Like a spider in a web. The settlement is fairly
recent. I don't know which came first, but I don't like the
development."

Teyla looked at Rodney from behind Sheppard. "Why would the Wraith go
to such lengths to trap their food source when they can just pick it
off the surface?"

Rodney raised his hand, pointing as he continued to study his data."I
don't know if it is about that…We are in a Wraith endemic area. Maybe
they were here when the settlement was established. Maybe it is some
sort of soldier growing facility. We know that their soldier `farms'
have been vulnerable to attack in the past when they have been found
on the surface. Something is not right. "

"But to be so well positioned…The soldiers would need a food source
when they emerged…That part makes sense…'Teyla added.

"Well, yeah…. And they had back up. Wraith darts were obviously here…
Look at the damage, but they definitely showed up late. "Rodney said,
looking at the devastated view out the window.

"Could it be the tactics of a Wraith faction? You know, out do the
other guy when competition is fierce?"Sheppard asked.

Rodney paused, considering the possibility."Good thought. The Wraith
have been struggling with finding enough to eat lately…So to speak."

"You said Zelenka thought there was something different about their
power supply?"Sheppard continued.

"He mentioned a carrier wave…It makes sense now…I think it was for a
signal…For pick up."He replied in chilled tone.

Sheppard assumed the pilot seat and powered up the ship."Got an
address?"

" Yes. The most probable one is in the next system."

Sheppard waited for everyone to find a seat then began his ascent.
He looked over at Rodney; the troubled expression on his face cut to
the heart of the matter. Rodney was tormenting himself. Sheppard
could relate to the pain of having a friend snatched away by the
enemy. This wasn't the first time. He quietly offered reassurance.

"Rodney, we will get him back. He won't be left behind. You have my
promise, just stay focused. Ok buddy?"

Rodney turned to him slowly and nodded. He was grateful Sheppard was
with him.

*******

A distant white sun watched over a large Jupiter like planet and
its three small moons. Their destination resided on the largest of
the three. It was shrouded in a habitable pale atmosphere that made
life possible.

The land folded over its self in ragged low canyons and mountains. A
wide lime green sea was captured between the rifting land masses.
Dense, low growing silver brush clung to the rusty soil, semi-frozen
with the turning of the seasonal axis.

The jumpers hung in orbit, assessing their situation.

"Do we have company?"Sheppard asked .

"Looks like one hive. Oh, and another smaller facility or ship…Hard
to tell. I am getting scattered life signs… Ah, I have human life
signs. They are inside that other area…Or ship…Or thing."

Sheppard smirked in discomfort. "Just one hive? How hard can it be?"
He mumbled. " Do they know we are here yet?"

"No, not that I can tell."

"How many life signs…Human life signs…?"Sheppard asked.

""Maybe twenty?"Rodney offered, trying to decipher his data. The data
pad kept flickering with interference.

"Crap! That's a lot more than the settlement had. I hope we can fit
them in the Jumpers…They must be from somewhere else. What if this is
like a depot?"

"That is a really unpleasant thought."Rodney said with a whisper.

"Sorry, but speaking of that…Any sign of those surprise underground
chambers?"Sheppard wrinkled his face.

"Can't tell….The hive is interfering with the scan."He sighed with
frustration.

"Zelenka's transponder?"

"Can't be sure…Too much interference."

Sheppard was looking for something that would be clear cut. "Alright,
do you think we can get close to that other thing, the small ship or
whatever?"

"Yes, shouldn't be a problem. The readings I am picking up... I don't
know …It looks like this camp out is not that recent…Like they have
been doing business for a while. Makes me nervous…We should be quick."

"That's the idea McKay." Sheppard moved the cloaked ship into the
atmosphere.

Rodney studied his readings…They bothered him. He leaned over and
whispered. " I don't have the best feeling about this John. What if I
am wrong? There could be more of those chambers."

Sheppard looked at him calmly."Then you're wrong and we fight our
way out. We don't have a choice. If we don't rescue them from this
place then we would have to deal with a hive and the whole hyperspace
thing. A much bigger problem. Time is critical and there are too many
lives at stake to back out. We will do what we always do…We will do
our best." The small craft set down.

"Please be careful." Rodney looked at him with concern.

"I will buddy. Watch my back."He said as he stood and patted Rodney
on the shoulder.

"You got it." Rodney turned back to his scan.

*******

*************************CHAPTER 2



Rodney was enraged to be brought back. Of all the times to
return, this was the worst. The mandatory IOA de-briefing at Cheyenne
mountain had come out of the blue. He knew it was the tip of a very
treacherous ice berg; an ice berg that had just ripped his belly
open. And they still wanted more. It was now bigger than the IOA. It
was now the military that was being blinded by political pressures.

He braced himself against the table top and looked down; his hands
were balled up into two white fists. Suspended in frantic thought, he
tried to comprehend his situation. He didn't want it to end like
this. He didn't want to turn and face his eager friend with the news.

"Rodney, come on man! Talk to me. You didn't come back here to just
stare at your hands. Please, Rodney. For God's sake, say something!"
Carson moved up behind him and placed his hand on Rodney's
back. "It's Ok. We are in this together. What happened? What did they
say?"

Rodney ran his hand haphazardly across his forehead and placed it
back on the table top. He fought his nausea and his feelings of
betrayal. Sarcasm corrupted his words.

"No Carson, it is so not `OK'. This entire thing is not OK, not fine,
not fucking great!"

Carson blinked a few times, taken off guard. "Rodney?"

Rodney paused, taking a deep breath. `This isn't Carson's fault. Get
a grip McKay!' He thought. His heart began to slow down, leaving him
to feel some resignation.

He glanced in Carson's direction; this time his voice took a
regretful tone. "Crap… I don't know what to say… They won't listen. I
think they made up their minds a long time ago. After everything we
have been through, they…Carson, they won't let us go!"

His words were terse, strangling his throat as they left him. His
shirt stuck uncomfortably to his skin; he was chilled with
perspiration and anxiety.

Carson held his fear back as he replied. "Rodney, they have too!
There's no other answer. They couldn't have made up their minds…They
don't know everything that happened! Hell, we don't!"

McKay continued to seethe; his anger slipped up once again breaking
the surface of his distracted facade. "Yeah, well that inconvenient
fact doesn't seem to matter! There's more Carson...They are thinking
of closing down the expedition. They are saying there will be a short
hearing but it looks like complete withdraw could follow… They are
going to leave him there! They call it an `unfortunate loss'! They
blame us Carson! "McKay cried. His words suffocated the air from the
room.

Carson sat down, his legs now unsteady by the revelation. "Christ!
That can't happen Rodney! We are the only ones who can change this!"
After a moment of dire consideration, Carson stood and joined Rodney
at the table. "We can't let this happen. We can't leave him for
dead." He whispered. His eyes were heavy with desperation.

Rodney took a deep breath, fighting the urge to raise his voice but
it was too late. "If Elizabeth was here…She would not stand for this!
No fucking way! She would carve them a new one so deep…" Tears rimmed
his distraught eyes.

"Rodney,calm down now. We will find a way. We need to think."
Carson could see Rodney was pushing himself too hard. His face was
crimson.

Rodney threw up his hands. "I know, but what are we gonna do? They
won't listen. I was in there for what, two fucking hours again,
laying it out after you did the same? You know what I got for my
efforts? A god damn guard at the door. He's out there right now,
guarding us like we are gonna walk the damn green mile! Please, if
you see a way out of this, fill me in Beckett because as of right
now, we are so very screwed!" McKay covered his mouth for a moment,
biting back his rage. He felt like he was going to black out.

"Breathe. Deep breath, come on." Carson whispered. Rodney followed
his instruction, relaxing a little.

"I can't live with myself Carson if I let John go like that…I just
can't. This is my fault!" Rodney whispered back in a weak voice.

"No it's not." Carson put his arm around him for a moment to calm
him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, straining
to concentrate."Damn it…There has to be something…Something we can do…
Rodney, what would Elizabeth do?" He slowly stepped away, eyes still
closed.

Rodney was confused."What? I…I don't know? I sure as hell wish she
was here. Such a horrible waste, that…" He drifted into the memory of
her.

"Rodney, think. What would she do? Other than John, you knew her
best."

Rodney stood a bit taller, considering the question.
"Well, she would...I...She would beat the bastards at their own game!
She would…Break a rule that needed to be broken? For him, at least."
He covered his eyes. He felt hopeless.

"For any of us Rodney. She knew the difference between politics and
what really mattered. So, let's break some rules. Following them
hasn't done a lick of good." Carson urged.

Rodney fell back to sarcasm. "Which one should we start with? We are
under armed guard. I am open to suggestions but the fact remains… We
are trapped here Carson! "McKay waved his hands as Carson mumbled
something over and over under his breath.

Holding a hand out to block Rodney's interruption, he kept mumbling,
getting louder with each repetition until his eyes snapped open.

"Carson! What are you going on about?! I am the one who has the
brilliant last minute ideas! If I don't have one…Carson? Don't tell
me you…" McKay's thought stumbled as he caught the implication in
Carson's body language.

Carson looked back at Rodney as he was formulating the thought, his
hand now reaching for his friend. "A number Rodney, I was trying to
remember a number! We have to risk it! We have to go back!" He
blurted as he grasped McKay by the shoulders; his eyes chilled blue
with his idea.

"Carson! What are you talking about? What is it? They are not going
to just let us walk out of here!"

"Aye, I know that! Do you have your phone on you?" Carson looked
frightened but determined.

"Yeah…I grabbed it before we left, but it's not like we have
reception or can just call home…What are you thinking?"He whispered
as he pulled out his phone from his trouser pocket. Swallowing hard,
he shot a glance at the door. Carson read his mind and slipped a
chair under the doorknob as if it would help.

"Well, I think it will travel just far enough…The plan involves being
sneaky and calling in a favor, but I think at this point, we couldn't
live with ourselves if we didn't do this." Carson looked at Rodney
nervously.

Rodney's face was red with irritation. "Carson! You got a plan or
what?"He barked.

"Yeah, I do…At least to get us back, then you can take it from there.
We need to be invited back…"

"Whatever! We have to find Sheppard!"

"Agreed. Do you know how to text?" Carson whispered.

"For God's sake! What am I, a turnip? Who are we texting!?"Rodney
growled.

Carson grinned. "Who else at SGC knows nearly everything there is
about everything and really annoys you?"

Rodney chewed on his lip for a moment then whined at the obvious
choice." Aw man, you don't mean Lee do you?"

"Aye, I had the pleasure of shall we say, helping him with a
little `health problem' when we were on the Daedalus. I check in on
him from time to time on his private cell phone. I happen to know
that he is here, as we speak. I am sure he will help us."

"What was the problem you helped…?"

"Can't say…Well… Only as a last resort in this case. Let's just say
it was personal and it gives us an advantage. Play nice now. Get in
touch with just how much you love the `World of War Craft'." He said
with a smirk.

Having a hope to focus on brought him back to Earth. "Bite me Carson.
What's the number? "Rodney grumbled as he wrestled with his phone.


*******

Teyla found Ronon standing out at the water's edge by the mess
hall. It had been twelve hours since their return from the Wraith
inhabited moon but it felt like a week. Nothing seemed right and it
was hard to find anyone who hadn't heard that Sheppard was dead. That
was the official story.

There was an IOA representative crawling over the entire city looking
for information on what he called an `irresponsibly executed
mission.' Woolsey was trying to hold the city together in light of
the situation; everyone was angry that there would be no rescue.
That was the unofficial story. Teyla and Ronon were scheduled to be
interviewed shortly.

Ronon looked out at the sunset, unaffected by the frigid wind that
cut past him. The cold magenta sky was perfectly clear, save for two
silver moons suspended over the dark blue New Lantian sea. A thick
ring of prismatic ice crystals haloed each one foretelling a change
coming. She came up quietly and stood to face him.

"Hey, how are you?"

Ronon glowered at her question as he met her eyes. "Were not going to
settle for this are we, because I can't." He growled as he crossed
his arms over his chest. It looked like he was trying to hold himself
back.

Teyla frowned as she lowered her voice. "No we are not…I feel that he
is still alive. I would bet my life on it."

Ronon looked back out at the view. "So what are we gonna do? They
have been watching us you know. As if we had something to do with it.
As if we did something wrong."

"I know. John would be furious. We must go after him. We must go now.
I feel that he is still on the planet. He needs us Ronon. I think I
know of a way." She said softly.

Ronon looked around and saw someone coming."Then we should talk
somewhere else…Follow me."

"Happy to Ronon. Lead the way."

*******

He awoke to the sound of his own strained voice, calling out
from his dream, "Now!"

Heavy and dull like the surrounding stone, his mind fought to adjust
to his new circumstance. The sun's rays were now long gone, leaving
him to feel the fatigue of constantly shivering. He couldn't stop.
With just enough room to sit up, Sheppard fumbled painfully to right
himself. It took a few attempts.

He looked around at the dim surroundings, confused. His body ached as
he remembered how he had arrived at his current location. `River bank…
I fell. I'm alone…Hurt?' He felt for his radio and weapons but all
were lost. Pain held tight in his head and chest as he patted
himself down with care. His legs still ignored his commands.

Sheppard's raw hands eventually found his damaged leg. Hands unsteady
as his breathing, he slowly folded his pant leg up to his knee to
take a look. He unlaced his boot with near frozen fingers and removed
it along with his damp sock.

A burning sensation burst through his back and escaped him on the
exhale as his foot came free. He stopped sharply, hoping to outlast
it. It died down into a threatening low grade electrical charge that
hummed within. `Go slow John…Really slow…' He wiped his brow.

Venturing a glance back to his injury, he could see that the lateral
bone was broken just above the ankle. It had shifted under the
discolored skin, distorting his leg. "Not so good John." He mumbled
somewhat incoherently. `Gotta fix it.' He looked around, hoping for
something to help.

Tidal remnants of plant and stone were scattered about in caches
between the boulders that dotted the entrance to the overhang. He
found a length of drift wood to brace his leg and set it aside.
Noting that his side arm was missing, he removed his leg holster. He
had suffered many injuries over his military career including many
broken bones and had picked up a few tricks but setting his own leg
seemed daunting in his distorted state. He would start then stop,
forgetting what he was doing.

Eventually, he worked out his thought out and positioned the straps
from his holster under and perpendicular to his leg. He swallowed
tight as he placed his hands on his ankle. `Fast…Do it fast…'He
thought.

Staring at it with determination, he quickly jerked the bone back
into approximate alignment. His cry was loud and sharp as another
electrical shock flashed within, leaving him panting with eyes
clamped shut.

After a few moments to regain his composure, he picked up the length
of driftwood with trembling hands and placed it alongside the
traumatized bone. The soft holster served as a pad between the two as
he grudgingly strapped it together and pulled his sock over the
assembly. Sheppard blearily stared at his makeshift splint. "That has
to do…"He whispered.

With the dark soon to be all around him and no source of heat,
Sheppard instinctively gathered what wood and dried algae was lying
next to him and drunkenly made a mat to lie on to insulate him. Every
movement became painstaking as his shivering became more violent. He
lowered himself down and pulled his arms into his vest. `Need to stay
awake…Somehow…' He gazed out of his crevice and hoped for rescue.
As he looked out he noticed something moving on the ridge across from
him. Something in his memory told him they were the enemy. He had
never felt so vulnerable. They disappeared within minutes, but he
felt no comfort.

The wide open night sky above overwhelmed the landscape as he
studied the lights within it. Two galactic arms spanned the black,
dressed thick with a billion worlds that glowed with infinite
possibilities but none seemed imminent. He focused on counting his
way across, star by star, forcing his mind to remain engaged. `Long
way home Sheppard…Long way…' He thought, scared by the sight. `They
will come for me…Just stay awake.' He told himself.

*******

Dr. Lee paused, taking note of the guards as he flashed his pass
to them. With a nod and a slightly nervous smile, he knocked on the
door. It cracked open, revealing McKay peering at him with
bloodshot eyes.

Lee walked in and promptly closed the security door behind him.
" Ok, I'm here. What can I do?"He asked quietly.

"I need you to get a message to Pegasus ASAP. Sheppard's life depends
on it!"Rodney whispered.

"I thought…I mean…Well,yeah, it's just about time for our usual
transmission…I take it the brass won't let you do this through
conventional channels...I hear you're in some hot water."

Rodney's frustration snapped it's last twig at Lee's indifference. He
glared at him and spat in a vicious whisper. "Yeah! We are! And If I
know you, you have been eavesdropping on the entire situation!"

"Rodney!"Carson smacked his shoulder.

Lee blinked a few times, un-affected by Rodney's behavior. He had
seen it before."Well, yeah…You got me there…I thought the Col. didn't
make it. You really think he is alive?"

"That's kinda the point to this whole thing Einstein!" Rodney hissed
again.

Carson smacked him again and interjected."Forgive him, he is
suffering from that…Condition you… Well, you know."

Lee looked at him sideways, wondering if his secret was safe. Carson
winked at him, letting him know it was. For now. Lee tried to act
casual. "Yeah, heard about that condition. That would make anyone
irritable. Sorry to hear that McKay. So, what do you need me to do
again?"

Rodney felt Carson's finger digging into his rib, insisting on some
level of politeness. He grudgingly abided. " We need to get a message
to Zelenka on Atlantis. Just a few lines of text with programming
language…I didn't want to send them to you over the phone…Just in
case. Here, memorize it." He handed Lee a small scrap of paper.

Lee studied it for a moment. "Strange..I get it…Ok, but what about
you guys? What are they gonna do with you…Do you know yet?"

McKay wanted to scream at him but Carson's finger was pressing on a
nerve, making it hard to breathe. "No. Just send it. If Zelenka sends
something back, find us, OK?" He said, squelching a cry of pain.
Lee handed the paper back.

"Ok. For Sheppard. But you never saw me." He slipped out of the room.

*******-

Ronon stepped out into the empty hall by the armory, stopping
Mr. Woolsey in his tracks. Teyla appeared right after, coming up
behind them.

"Ah, Hello Ronon…Teyla, what can I do for you?" He asked nervously,
realizing he was engulfed in Ronon's shadow.

"I think you know what you can do for me…Or should I say Sheppard."
He said in an intimidating tone.

"Ronon, we have been over this. The IOA has declared him KIA. They
have locked down the gate. No expedition member may leave. I know
this is hard to accept, but for right now, I must agree with them. I
can't see how he would have survived. Not based on the information we
have. It is far too dangerous to risk anyone else. I'm sorry."

"We don't know that and you don't know him! He doesn't deserve this!"
He spat through his teeth as he took a step forward.

Woolsey took a step back."Ronon, it isn't about what he deserves. It
is about how dangerous it is. The IOA feels that there has been
enough loss. I am sorry."

"Excuse me Mr. Woolsey, but you said that any expedition member
cannot leave at this time. It that what the IOA has stated?"Teyla
calmly asked.

"Yes. That is the official wording."He blinked a few times, wondering
what they were going to do.

"Then may I offer that Ronon and I are not members of the expedition
from Earth. Rather, we are alien allies that have chosen to assist
the Colonel in an alliance, if you will. Therefore, in light of the
circumstances, we should return to our home world until you have set
your affairs in order." She looked at him with an insistence that was
forged harder than steel.

A light went on behind his eyes. "Mmm. Very interesting. I hear what
you are saying. I don't suppose that if you return to your home
world, you would resist the urge to gate to his last known location?"

"I cannot say Mr. Woolsey."Teyla held his gaze. It made him
uncomfortable.

"I see. You know that we would not be able to communicate during the
lock down?"

"Yes."

"But you would want to `return home' all the same?" He folded his
arms over himself, wanting protection from Ronon's relentless stare.

"Yes, we would. We will give you an address. I do not think the IOA
would need to be concerned with such a thing. After all, we have not
been introduced."

"True, the IOA representative does not know you. Not yet. Your
introductions are not scheduled for a few hours." His concern broke
through his strained diplomacy. "Teyla, I do not want to see you
harmed."

Ronon tightened his jaw. "We will be fine. Are you going to let us go
or not?"

Woolsey looked around, making sure they were still alone. "I don't
know if…How am I going to introduce you when you are not here? He
wants to question you."He lowered his tone, attempting to keep the
conversation just between them.

"I am sure you will find a way. You are an intelligent man who can
handle situations much more challenging than this."She smiled
politely.

He tried to take a more authoritative stance but Ronon's presence
was really starting to affect him. He was beginning to unravel. "I
suppose…I can't recommend that this is a good idea. I know you are
fiercely loyal to Sheppard, but …"

Teyla stepped forward, surprising him with her steadfast
negotiation. "I do not think you understand just how loyal we are,
Mr. Woolsey."

He paused, considering the situation. He paused too long for Ronon's
patience.Ronon growled. "Or how fierce…I would hate to see our
alliance destroyed by an act of war."

"Ronon…I" Woolsey tried to diffuse the situation but he stopped
before he began. He knew he was losing and he did not trust Ronon at
this point to continue to show restraint. His only option was to call
for help or accept.

"I would have to agree, Mr. Woolsey. Preserve our alliance. Let us
go. Please."Teyla urged.

Woolsey swallowed. "Alright. I see your point. I think it is
honorable you want to try, but foolish…"He began.

"And what would you know about honor?"Ronon asked with a hint of
disgust.

Teyla took another step towards him and looked deep into his
eyes."What he means to say, is that you would honor us by granting
our request."

"Very well." Woolsey whispered with surrender. "Meet me in the gate
room in ten minutes."

Teyla nodded and watched him walk away.

"Should we trust him?" Ronon asked.

"Yes. How will you get a jumper?" She kept watching, making sure he
was out of sight.

"Lorne. Leave that to me."Ronon replied.

"How will you gate out without being detected?"

"Leave that to Zelenka. And Teyla?"

"Yes?"

"I will come for you."

"I trust you will. We should let Radek know we are ready." She said.
Ronon nodded.

They turned and walked toward the science lab.

*******

The sound wavered in and out of his consciousness, puncturing
his blunted sleep with an instinctive unease. The deep hiss became
more menacing in his ear as he fought to open his eyes. Sheppard felt
something strange. A warm, wet sensation tingled across his shoulder
thickening into a burn that took his breath as he was viciously
thrown into the rear of the shallow cave.

The caustic pain was instantaneous as the suffocating shadow over
him lunged again, crushing its jaws into his collar bone as he hit
out frantically. The force of the stone grating into his back made
him yell out as he landed. Blood shot from his mouth as his face made
contact.

The hissing figure bit down again, ripping his stinging flesh as it
pulled him by the shoulder out into the starlight. As it drug him
over the shore, his legs caught randomly on the rubble while his free
hand fell to a fist sized shard of rock. Sheppard latched on and held
tight to it with numb fingers; he swung his arm forward in
desperation with all his strength. It came to a stop with a sickening
crack.

A heavy sensation spread over his chest as the shadow moved off with
a hollow gurgle, leaving him at the river's edge gasping for air in
the icy mist.

It took the better part of a half hour for him to crawl back to his
small shelter. Every motion felt impossible through his warped
awareness as his upper body sacrificed its strength to cover the
distance; survival and delusion urged him on.

He collapsed onto his side and trembled uncontrollably as the burning
sensation seemed to taint his entire body with a bone breaking ache.
He strained to focus. He had lost a considerable amount of blood and
the wound kept oozing. `Have to…Stop it…'

Sheppard blindly felt the sand for anything to stop the flow. He
clutched a large pile of desiccated algae and pressed it into his
shoulder. With the last remnant of his strength was gone, he fell
back onto the sand, grateful for gravity's assistance. St…tay…Awake…
John…nn.' He whispered.

*******

Teyla arrived just after dawn, undetected as she stepped
through the ancient portal. Hunched low, she scurried for cover among
the trees still bathed in the breath of the night before. The air was
fragile and cold, much like the impotent sun that only hinted at
warmth. She pulled her heavy coat tight and took a moment to gather
her bearings.

Her scanner hinted at a direction, sensing Sheppard's transmiter. It
would be a long trek through a Wraith inhabited valley and over a
steep ridge to the east. Her instincts told her to be particularly
wary; she was about to have company. A hive ship was due to land
soon.

Escaping this world the first time had been difficult . She doubted
the Wraith would be tricked again. She checked her weapons and
slipped into the wilderness in search of him.

*******

The evening transmission from SGC would be the only activity the
gate would see for a while. Zelenka watched his computer monitor
hungrily for any status update pertaining to his friends. Most of the
content was for Woolsey's eyes only, save for a few shipping
manifests and random memos.

Within moments, the transmission ended and the gate flashed closed.
He studied the contents from tip to tail. A small cluster of notation
caught his eye. It was embedded in a line of text and routine code
that finished the last paragraph.

"RM>RZ"

It was something that was inescapable on Atlantis…At least in the
science labs. He once even found it written out in the frosting of a
chocolate éclair he had hoped to eat one morning.

Zelenka looked casually around and saw he was momentarily un-
observed. Woolsey was in his office, yelling at someone from the IOA.
He began to sweat as he clicked on it. A password box opened up,
prompting him.

He entered the phrase 'RODNEY- MCKAY- IS- GREATER-
THAN –RADEK- ZELENKA'.

"Bastard!" He whispered under his breath as he waited.

Although they often argued, Rodney and Radek held a deep respect for
one another. They would speak in code even for the silliest things,
just for fun. Every letter had a meaning, every phrase a potential
directive. This was one of the few times that their unspoken language
would serve a more important purpose.

Another box appeared with a response. It held lines of code:

0001X11C0010R100IT0X01IC0010A00LX00S0011X00H101E010P0X0000I001X1S00L00
11XI11V001E
G010E0X011T00M0X0E010R01X0E110D00I101T010H00H0X01O0X10M001E000010N11X1
01O11011XW110

He eliminated the ones, X's and zeros. Then he saw it:

` CRITICAL SHEP IS LIVE GET MEREDITH HOME NOW `

At the bottom was yet another small box, waiting for an entry. He
typed `REVEAL' and hit enter . Seconds seemed like hours, but the
last clue appeared.

GATE EMERGENCY TACTIC NAQUADAH OVERLOAD WINDOW

Zelenka deleted any sign of the message and hurried off to his lab.
He had his answer. It was time to take action.

*******

After a few hours, Teyla arrived at a large river. She moved
quietly over the tumbled shoreline like a cat, observing every tidal
mark that shaped the sand. As she walked, she replayed John's
disappearance in her mind. She could see the swarm of Wraith heading
for him. She remembered how he fought. The image of Wraith rising up
from the ground terrified her. She could not sense them at the
moment. For now, the area was clear.

The sun was sinking behind the wall of the canyon, softening the
feeble sunlight into a ruddy tone. Each exhale was visible in the
cold as she persisted in her stride, scanning the tiniest detail.
Then as if tricked, her eyes fought to believe…She saw it...

Just a few inches below the surface of the frigid aquamarine river
she noticed a glint. Reaching down, her hand broke the surface and
felt the familiar grip of a nine millimeter side arm. It was John's.
Her heart burst in her chest as she stood staring at its angular form
resting in her wet palm.

Eyes wide, she eagerly combed the surrounding area, questioning every
contour of the land that stretched out before her. Every shadow held
urgency, every boulder a hidden possibility. She wanted to call out,
but feared her voice would carry too far to the ears of the enemy so
she moved on slowly, cautiously approaching a large outcrop of stone.

Her eyes came to rest on a wide band of disturbed sand just above the
waterline. It meandered across the bank and toward the cliff face. A
blackened slick substance spattered the shore, leading upstream in a
trickle. She touched it. It was viscous on her finger and rancid like
old flesh.

A few meters up the beach the carcass of a large lizard like
creature had begun to rot; its scales almost midnight and reflective
like a dark mirror. The animal's flat skull had been crushed in at
the base. Teyla had seen them before in her travels. They were
familiar scavengers on the Wraith worlds favored for their ability to
clean up any human waste left behind. This one had fought for a meal
and lost.

Returning her attention to the cliff she silently moved closer; her
breath now held tight between her lips. A few pools of rusting blood
were held among the debris as she followed the trail.

Barely visible in the shadows of a small cave, John's rigid body
appeared still before her. He rested on his side, turned away. She
noticed he was far too still as she knelt down, touching him with a
timid hand.

"John! John?" She whispered. Her hand fell upon his back; the first
sensation was the damp that clung to his black uniform. She pressed
in further to feel for more. His body was cold as it met her finger
tips.

Dread choked her, slurring her movements. `No John…No…' Her heart
fell. A crushing weight descended upon her spirit as she bowed her
head.

Teyla gently turned him over onto his back and softly wiped the sand
from his ashen face. His eyes were slightly open and stagnant. She
gently closed them.

Remnants of dried blood snaked from just above his ear down the
hollow of his cheek and covered most of his chest. His mouth was
crusted red at the corners. She could feel her chest spasm with grief
at the sight.

He remained seemingly lifeless and broken before her as she took a
deep breath in and held it. His chest did not move. Holding his
wrist, she was unable to feel a pulse.

Sorrow welled up within her as a small sob broke free. "`No John, not
like this…Not like this."She whispered.

John Sheppard was more to her than a team leader or warrior. He was
family. He was her friend. He was a savior and a guide. He was so
many things that had come to surprise her. The thought of his loss
seemed more personal than could be spoken. It was devastating. She
found herself fighting back tears as she observed his surrendered
state. Time seemed to stop.

Moving her hands over him like a ghost, she found every injury and
watched for any sign of response. His body was chilled and foreign
under her touch as she attempted to read his story.

Holding his icy hand open, she examined his ragged palm. Its squared
form was strong with details of a life of service but was now thick
with trauma from the last few days. She realized how he came to be
lost. `I am too late my friend…'

She wiped her face and took another deep breath. "I am here John."Her
warm words echoed against the stone backdrop as her tears slipped
from her cheek, falling onto his own.

Cradling his head with great care, she solemnly placed her forehead
to his and paused, as if to say goodbye. Before she could whisper the
words, she felt his fragile, inconsistent breath on her skin.

Hope overwhelmed her. "John! John, its Teyla! I am here! John?
Please John, can you hear me?" Her hands ran over his face again,
frantic for a sign he was still with her. He remained unresponsive
yet his faint breath whispered out. He felt colder to her touch than
the air around them.

She quickly began to remove the damp clothing from his torso,
stripping him bare. She removed her long fur lined coat and carefully
draped it over him for warmth. "John…John Sheppard…Can you hear me?"
"I am not letting you go John…Stay with me." She whispered as she
barred her own chest and joined him under the coat, wrapping herself
around him.

His body felt lifeless and empty in her arms at first, as if his
soul was standing outside of its vessel. The chill of his bare skin
on hers felt sharp and painful. It made her shiver. "I am going to
get you home." She whispered into his ear.

She desperately wanted to start a fire, but the risk of giving away
their location was too great. The Wraith were closer now and on the
hunt for any escapees from their holding yard. Teyla decided body
heat would have to do. "John, Its Teyla, I am here with you." Teyla
held tight, trying to impart as much warmth as possible.

After a few hours, his body began to give off its own modest
heat. "John, can you hear me?" She patiently asked. A tiny groan
slipped from his mouth.

Keeping him alive was the immediate challenge. If she could manage
it, how to get him home would be the next. Teyla could hear weapons
fire far off in the distance. The Wraith were numerous and
unrelenting in their search. She knew their only hope was to wait for
Ronon. Of more concern to her was if he would regain consciousness.
His wounds were serious, leaving him completely helpless at the
moment.

Realizing they would have to wait out the night, she concentrated on
keeping John protected. Every sound drew her attention as she tried
to imagine that they were invisible among the frost covered stone.
Tucked away under her leather coat, they appeared to be; blending
into the ocher hues of the riverbed. Holding to the hope of
Sheppard's survival, Teyla kept watch until dawn returned.

*******

Major Lorne stood alone as he signed his weapons into the
armory and neatly placed his gear back into his locker. He still
felt nauseated. He had been off world when Sheppard's team had been
intercepted. By the time he had returned, Atlantis had been ordered
into lockdown and he was held in an empty office for two hours.
Being grilled by the IOA representative had been infuriating.

He attempted to maintain his composure as he changed into a new
uniform but his anger welled up and out into his fist as he slammed
it into a supply crate.

"Damn it! He doesn't deserve that!" He yelled. The pain
shot to his brain as he caught his breath. "Arrrghah!" He bent over
slightly, consoling his hand.

Ronon stepped out from behind a freestanding locker, startling
him. "No, he doesn't deserve that." He said in a menacing tone. Lorne
jumped back.

"Shit, Ronon, how long have you been here?"

"A while. Just seeing who I can trust. How did it go with the IOA?"
He leaned against the locker and folded his arms. Lorne stepped
closer.

"Bastards! I can't believe, after everything Sheppard has done, they
just want to say he's KIA! We don't know that! I wish I had been
there! They won't tell me where he was last seen! They won't tell me
shit! Why did they even bother to talk to me? I won't believe he is
KIA until…" He blurted, arms waiving.

Ronon cut him off. "They questioned you because they want to get into
his head. They want to blame someone. You want to do something about
it?"

Lorne stared back at him. "Well, yeah, but how?"

"I will need your help. And don't worry. You won't be responsible.
Interested?" Ronon approached him.

"Ah…Yeah. What are you thinking exactly?"

"Well, actually, you have a head start on me, but I will need to hit
you. Maybe a few times. You OK with that?"

"What?" Lorne stared back at him again and blinked a few times.

"I take you down, abduct you against your will and steal a jumper
which you are gonna fly at gun point. Just to cover our asses. Or
your ass."

"Hit me how many times?" Lorne asked, wrinkling his face.

"Just enough to make it convincing."Ronon replied as he tried to
suppress a smile.

Lorne looked uncertain, but nodded. "Yeah, that clears it up…OK, but
go easy. I can't take your punch like Sheppard."

"Who says he can? By the way, good thing you said yes." His smile had
now slipped its restraint.

Lorne studied him thoughtfully. "Somehow, it seemed the right thing
to do. Do we need supplies? Weapons?"

"Already loaded. Jumper 1."

"What about the lock out. Who is gonna open the Iris?"

"Zelenka. He said something about a power fluctuation or something.
We got to give him a signal when we are ready."

"Ok, I'm in. Med kit in the jumper?"

"Yeah."Ronon smiled again.

"Great…Can I close my eyes?"

Before Lorne could think, Ronon clocked him quickly, knocking him
back and splitting his lip. Before he could breathe, Lorne was hit
again and thrown over Ronon's shoulder. His face started to bleed
down Ronon's back as they moved to the Jumper bay.

Lorne felt himself spinning slightly."Nice job, bleeding and
disoriented but not completely unconscious." Lorne whispered with a
bloody lisp.

"Thanks." Ronon whispered back as he drew his gun. The guards at the
bay door raised their weapons as he approached, clearly intimidated
by the sight of Ronon stalking toward them with their limp and beaten
commander.

"Move!" Ronon said forcefully.

"We can't let you…"

"You just did." He stunned both guards and entered the bay.

*******

Morning filtered through the canyons in a blue mist. The land
was under a shroud of bitter cold that was only destined to be beaten
back for a few hours by the remote star, now attempting to rise.

Teyla felt him shift under her ever so slightly as she lie draped
upon him like her coat. The color had returned to his face somewhat.
She rested her hand on his bare chest and felt his heart beating back
to her with a stronger voice. He was now warm to the touch.

Teyla had cleaned him and covered his torn shoulder during the
night. She was relieved he showed no signs of fever.

Sheppard slowly opened his eyes half way and stared weakly at the
rock above him. He stayed still, not quiet present in the moment.
Teyla moved out from under the coat and discretely pulled on her tank
top before moving into his line of sight. "John, can you hear me?"
She touched his face.

Sheppard felt the warmth of her hands on him. With great effort, his
grey eyes focused on her form. "John, can you speak?" She asked,
again caressing his bruised face. His eyelids fought to stay open as
he listened to her voice roll over him.

"Tey..la?" He whispered faintly. He licked his lips, now blushed back
into life.

"Yes John. I am here." She tucked the coat around him to keep the
chill out.

"Where?" He asked; his voice as pale as his skin.

"You are on a Wraith world. We are waiting for rescue. You are
injured John."

His eyes seemed slightly vacant. Teyla held them with her own,
imparting strength and comfort as she spoke.

"You were lost on a mission. You became separated from the team and
fell I think, off a cliff. I believe the river carried you quite a
distance away. We came back for you." She could see the news
register on his beleaguered face.

"Wraith?"

"They have moved off for now but I believe they are still an imminent
threat. There is a hive in the next valley. I feel another is soon to
join it. Ronon is coming for us. He will be here soon."

Her words seemed to make sense but he felt unable to connect them
all just yet.

"Pain. " He groaned weakly.

Teyla caressed his face again, relieved to see him looking back at
her, although dazed. The weak morning light painted his eyes violet
for a few moments as he looked to her for clues.

"John, what do you remember?"

He swallowed hard, trying to lubricate his throat."Wraith." He fell
silent for a moment as the throbbing in his head intensified. "You
found me?"

"Yes, I tracked you, or I should say your most probable location. How
do you feel John?" Teyla's concern was so overwhelming, she found it
difficult to keep from touching him. She adjusted the coat once more.

"Thirsty." John looked at her carefully, appreciating her presence.
She uncapped her canteen and helped him sip from the opening, gently
holding his head up. He labored to swallow a few
mouthfuls.
"Something… Attacked me." He added. A trickle of water
escaped the corner of his mouth only to be caught as she wiped it
away.

"Attacked you? Here?" She asked, lightly touching his wrapped
shoulder.

"Yeah, burns. Fought it off."

Teyla found herself feeling admiration for the man before her. "Yes,
you did. It will not be returning." She set the canteen aside and
held her hand to his cheek."It was not venomous but we will have to
watch you for any infection. I feel no fever yet. That is good." She
said quietly."Can you move?"

"Don't know." He replied. She could see that he wanted to test the
theory.

"John, I don't think you should." She cautioned.

"Help me." He asked. "Please."

She looked at him with uncertainty. "If you must, move very slowly."
He nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

Sheppard began with his hands, feeling his way over his chest and up
to his face. He reached up and fingered the bandage on his head.

"Does it hurt?"She asked.

"Yeah…My eyes are funny…" He tried to turn on his side and shook
with the effort. Teyla caught him as his injured shoulder buckled in
pain. He gasped as she eased him back down.

"You are not ready. We will wait a little. It's alright."

He looked up at her with a frightened expression.

"John?...What is it?" She leaned toward him, feeling his fear. "John?
Talk to me John, please."

He stared outside for a moment, searching for a response. He
stuttered as he attempted to speak again; his voice soft as if he had
run out of air. "I…I…Teyla…I can't move…My legs… They won't move…" He
was struggling to hold in his panic.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Can't feel them." The distress in his eyes confirmed his words.

"John, can I take a look?"

He nodded, still stunned by his realization. She started by
delicately slipping her hand under his back. She moved her fingers
along his mid spine, tentatively and selectively reading every inch.
She could feel the heat from the bruises that mottled his skin. It
felt as if he had hit every rock in the river. "Can you feel me?" She
asked as she paused.

"Yeah. It hurts."He said with a wince.

She continued gingerly down to his low back. She could feel the
swelling along his spine. She paused just below it."Here?"

"No." He swallowed and tried to look away. He did not react to her
touch.

Aware of this, she moved down the back of each thigh, giving
him a hard pinch on both. Again, there was no response. She ran her
hands over the length of both legs and gave his braced leg a shake.
He did not move.

"Anything?"

"No." He whispered in defeat.

Her hands moved back up to the outside of his hips. "Here?"

"I don't know…Maybe. Kinda numb." His words faded out.

Teyla covered him again. He looked up without speaking, paler than
before. She took his hand into hers. "John, we will get help."She
said kindly.

He felt guilty she had found him. He was a danger to her now. A
liability. He remained silent but she felt his regret.

"John, we will do this together. We will endure."

Looking back to her slowly, he gave a brief but insincere nod.

She could see he was starting to shiver again. "You need to stay
warm." She slipped under the coat with him and generously placed
herself against his bare torso again. She entwined her legs to hold
his.

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly, slightly incoherent and
confused by her actions. He realized he was not fully clothed and
braced against her. He had little choice as she looked him in the eye.

"You are weak and must stay warm John. This is the only way right
now. Trust me." She rested her head against him. He remained quiet,
not knowing what it meant.

The far off sun barely grazed the riverbed as it climbed. Teyla held
him like a bird in her hand; insistent of his safety, but gently,
allowing him movement. He eventually relaxed and fell into a light
sleep. She watched the morning light seep among the surrounding
stones, melting away the shadows but not the frost.

*******

**************CHAPTER 3

Zelenka sat in the auxiliary control room and rechecked his
monitor as he nervously pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose.
As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Rodney. Covert opps
weren't really the bull he wanted to take by the horns, but there was
no going back. He owed Sheppard this chance. He would be dead now if
Sheppard hadn't diverted the Wraith. He thought back to all the times
Sheppard had saved him…All the times he had put McKay on check. It
made him smile.

His headset crackled. He heard eight clicks. It was time to start. A
push of a button prompted the power to surge and a frantic call from
the primary control room.

"Zelenka! What is happening?" Woolsey's voice carried over the line.

"I am not sure, some sort of power flux…I think it is coming from one
of the power stations…Something McKay was working on."

"Zelenka! The Gate! It is dialing! What the hell is going on! Chuck,
can you stop it?" The com was interrupted.

Zelenka responded."I am working on it!"

Chuck proceeded to enter a code in an attempt to override the dialing
sequence. Woolsey was blinded by the white flash that filled the gate
room. The blue event horizon that had opened disappeared in a ripple.
Chuck spoke in Woolsey's direction. "Sorry sir. I don't know what
that was. The power surge…It must have blown a conduit here in the
gate room. I can't really see…Can you?"

Woolsey stared at his glimmering silhouette and pressed the com
button again. "Not really…What have you got Zelenka?"

Zelenka cleared his throat and swallowed before responding. "A
generator fed back into the system. Major power interfaces are in
danger of overloading due to damage."

"Is that it?"

"No, there is more...The ZPMs are in danger of being irreprably
damaged if I can't get to the source of the problem. It is imperative
we get McKay back here. He is the only one who can stop the damage
from spreading."

"Why?!"

"He was working on the system before he left…He has the codes…He
never shared them with me…There was no time…"

"Did anything leave or enter the gate?' Woolsey snapped.

"No, nothing evident. Just the power surge." He was holding his
fingers behind his back, crossed for luck. "One more thing…This could
happen again…Unless we get McKay."

The IOA official came up behind Woolsey. "Explain this!"

Woolsey turned coldly to the representative. "It is a ten thousand
year old city and you decided to take our best scientist back to
earth when he was in the middle of repairing the power system. Is
that clear enough? We need him back. I am sending for him, protocols
be damned!"

The IOA representative stormed off, leaving Woolsey to ponder what
was really going on.

*******

Inside the Jumper, Lorne held an ice pack to his face as he
worked the flight controls."Ronon, what about my men? Will they
remember?" He asked, speaking through a fat lip.

"Yeah. I adjusted the stun setting. It has a way of wiping your
memory for a day or so. Figure it will be enough to find Sheppard. If
they see his smiling face, I doubt they will say anything."

"And if they do say something, then we have our cover story. Got it.
Hope you are right. They are new and don't really know Sheppard's
code."

"There are other ways to keep a silence Lorne." He said stone cold.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."He replied reluctantly. "Where to?"He
asked in hopes of leaving that last comment behind.

"Here, Zelenka wrote it out."

Lorne looked at the address. "Ronon…This is a Wraith world…We should
have more men…"

"We will be fine. We should be able to pick up Teyla's transponder
when we reach orbit."

"What! Telya is there? Alone?"

"Yeah, she was able to gate in before the Atlantis lock down. I was
supposed to go with her, but I ditched to get us a ship."

"How? Wait, why then are we going the long way around?"

"Because she arrived just ahead of a Hive ship. It is too dangerous
now. We will have to sneak in. The Wraith have improved their sensing
abilities near the surface gates but they only watch when they are
there."

"How did she know when to go?"

"She just did. She could feel them."

"How did you arrange this?" He asked, impressed by his team mates.

"Zelenka." Ronon said calmly.

"How did you ditch? Didn't Woolsey see you?"

"Naw, he was arguing with the IOA guy. Missed it completely."

"So Zelenka...He's the mastermind? He sure can trump McKay
sometimes."Lorne shook his head.

"Yeah." Ronon laughed.

"I hope Teyla is alright."Lorne said with concern.

"We will know soon." Ronon held up a small metal rectangle.

"Lots of weapons on board?" Lorne asked as he read the HUD data.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Ronon slapped Lorne on the back in support. Lorne was appreciative
but being jostled made his face ache with pain. Still, he had no
regrets. He set the ship's course.

********

Rodney and Carson popped through the event horizon and stepped
into the gate room of Atlantis. Woolsey and Zelenka greeted them.
Woolsey bristled up, trying to hide his relief.

"Welcome back. Dr. Beckett? I don't recall asking for you?"

"Ah, Rodney wasn't feeling well. I needed to monitor him. Just in
case." He said, holding his breath. Woolsey squinted at him
suspiciously but moved on.

"Fine. Whatever. We have a problem with the power grid. Seems that
you didn't share the appropriate coding with anyone and now the city
is about to blow a gasket. Zelenka will bring you up to speed. The
lockout still stands so stay put. I have to go babysit. If you need
me I will be in my office with the IOA ray of sunshine."
He turned on his heel and stiffly walked away.

Rodney stared wide eyed at Zelenka." Up to speed? Blow a gasket?
What's happening? What did you do?!"

"You're welcome `Meredith'…Welcome `home'…He whispered with
deliberate emphasis. "Come with me."

"What about Carson?" Rodney asked.

Zelenka thought for a moment then gave an authoritative reply. "We
will need him. He has the strongest gene. Might make things go
faster." Zelenka glimpsed at the guards in the gate room and saw
nothing suspicious. With a small wave he motioned to his team mates
to follow him.

Once in the privacy of the lab Rodney let loose. "What in god's name
is happening?"

"Rodney, calm down. First things first. The whole power issue….Just a
ruse although I did do as you suggested. I overloaded a Naquadah
generator…But, everything is alright…It just looks otherwise. If you
spend some time fiddling…it will look like everything is fixed. But
it actually is…"

"Fine, quit rambling! What else?"Rodney asked impatiently.

"The larger problem…Involves Teyla and Ronon."

"Did you tell them I was coming back?"

Well, that's just it…They left before I could get your message. They
are gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"To find the Colonel. It was kind of…Well, plan A. Teyla left first.
Ronon was next."

Rodney was trying to see where it was all heading. "How did Teyla and
Ronon get out?"

"Well, Teyla convinced Woolsey to let her go before the lock down.
Ronon left after with the help of your directive. When I received
your message to bring you back, it gave me what I needed to send him
on his way with a jumper. I slipped him out with a so called power
surge and activated the gate according to your coded instruction. He
was going to help Teyla."

"Ok, just wish I had known about the Plan A…Wait! How is he going to
fly it?"

"Major Lorne."

"What?"

"Ronon kidnapped Lorne to get the jumper…Well; he made it look like a
kidnapping just in case, to cover Lorne. The last thing the Marines
saw at the jumper bay was probably Ronon and his gun. They are still
unconscious in the infirmary. I said they got hit with a stray bolt
of electricity."

"Good god! Are they alright?"Carson cried.

"Yes. But, they will be out as you know for a bit."

Rodney started to pink up as his anxiety increased."You…What…Aw, man,
now what? We have to do this alone? Can we get a message to Lorne?"

Zelenka shook his head. "Not right now…Radio silence on the Wraith
world, remember?"

"Crap! And Woolsey?"Rodney put his hands over his eyes trying to see
a way out.

"All he knows is that Teyla and Ronon left to find the Colonel, and
he doesn't know about Lorne yet. Or the jumper. In all the confusion,
he hasn't called for him yet."

Rodney gawked at him. "He doesn't know? He sent them on foot? No back
up? But the security tapes?"

"I got to them first…Besides, The IOA official has had him completely
distracted. So, what do you want to do?"

"Shit! Let me think! Just let me think…"

"Rodney, we need to hurry…" Carson added.

"I know Carson! I know!"

"What do you think the odds are that Teyla and Ronon will find
him?"Carson asked Zelenka.

"Hard to say. They have a very dangerous area to search. Two Hives
are due to be there any time now. Frankly, I am questioning their
decision to go." Zelenka paused and went to his monitor.
"I see no communication yet. A smaller team will have a better time
of it than a large recon effort. We will have to wait for some kind
of word from them…Which could come at any time."

"So, meanwhile, back at the ranch, we have to distract Woolsey and
his IOA pal?" Rodney scoffed.

"Yes. Unless you think of something else."Zelenka said with a sigh.

Rodney walked across the room and leaned on a table."The blatant fact
remains that they are woefully in need of back up. I can't believe
they…"

Zelenka approached him."They saw no other way at the time Rodney."

Rodney nodded slowly in understanding. `I know."He said with a quiet
sigh. He grew pensive for a moment then looked back at Zelenka. "Is
Woolsey in the grip of the IOA nark completely?" Rodney asked with a
distasteful look.

"Well, he did let Ronon and Teyla go, but unsupported. So actually,
the answer is yes, he is unwilling to risk any true attempt at
rescue. He really believes the Colonel is dead. Hard to say why he
really let Ronon and Teyla go, but his official orders are to keep
the gate locked down."

"What about the Colonel? Time is of the essence."Carson pressured.

"I know Carson, but Zelenka is…Dare I say it, `right'. We can't just
steal another jumper…Or, can we?" Rodney raised his eyebrow.

"I was thinking we might need one if things go wrong…It is all ready,
but I think we need to work our plan out. I can't even list how many
regulations and careers are out the window at this point. Also, we
don't know if the Colonel is alive yet. Give Ronon and Teyla some
time." Zelenka pushed his glasses up again and solemnly looked at
Rodney. "The Colonel would not want us to endanger so many for him
without just cause."

Rodney snapped forward."Radek, I am to blame for this entire mess and
I intend to fix it! I will not let him be abandoned, dead or alive
because of my error in judgment. You were right. I should have been
the one to examine the power station. If I had, I would have seen the
Wraith. I have to keep my promises. We will find him."

"Rodney…"

"No, we will." He said firmly.

"There is more Rodney. Not only can the Wraith detect us better, but
I have determined that they are relying on a fine network of sensors
over areas that house the underground pits. They can stretch for
quite a distance. If the vibration or disturbance is too strong, the
soldiers will activate. You mentioned it was like a spider web. It
is, actually. The bigger the prey, the bigger the response."

"So, should Teyla stumble onto one of these areas…She might escape
detection?"

"Yes, because her `vibration' if you will, is small. A jumper…Not so
much. I am worried. Lorne and Ronon do not know."

"Rodney nodded, mirroring Zelenka's discomfort. "Hey, what about the
whole super Wraith thing? Any Ideas?"

Zelenka stepped forward. "Yes, I ran that test you asked for Carson.
I am not sure of the final result but you should take a look." He
pointed to a lap top.

Carson swung around and studied it. "We are in real trouble
gentlemen. If my eyes don't deceive…You say you took the sample from
the Wraith blood we found on the outside of the ship after the
initial attack?"

"Yes, if you can call it that. Nasty substance."

"Well then, they have been doing a bit of engineering…We are going to
have to re-think our weapons."

"How so?"Rodney asked.

"You think they were hard to kill to begin with, well…That has
changed. They are twice as strong as they were before. It will take
time to find a biological way to combat it, so for now, we are going
to have to use more fire power. And maybe aim for the head. They
can't do much if they …Well you get the idea. "

Rodney winced. "Alright, I need to think. We have a lot to overcome…
We have to find a way to `numb' their sensors and we need bigger guns
so we can save our friends in the scariest Wraith neighborhood this
side of Pegasus. Lucky me." He sighed. "Give me fifteen minutes of
quiet. Meanwhile, work on setting up another timed power flux that
will obscure the gate…I want to be ready if we need to go."

Zelenka nodded and scurried off into the next room.

Carson stood still, slightly confused. "Rodney, what was that about
promises?"

"It was something…A request to look after…Something I promised a long
time ago. Never mind. I have to work."

Carson paused in case there was more.

"Carson! Go get your med kit together…Don't let anyone see you. Go!"
He waved him off in a flail of irritation.

"About bloody time!"Carson whispered as he left.

Rodney held his head as he studied Zelenka's monitor. "I won't let
you down…I'll find him."He whispered.

*******

The night and day cycles were short on the small terrestrial
Wraith outpost. Night was soon to fall as Teyla knelt by Sheppard's
side and attempted to wake him. "John, can you hear me?"

He was still; his breathing shallow and rapid as he slept. "John,
please John, I need you to wake. You must drink. John?"

With a moan, he opened his eyes half way but did not acknowledge her.
One pupil was larger than the other. She noticed. "John? Can you hear
me?"

His eyelids fluttered but he remained quiet. "John, you must hold on.
Stay with me." She took a bandana from her bag and wet it with water
from her canteen. With gentle pressure, she pressed it into her palm
and let the moisture slip between his lips. Her efforts were met with
a weak swallow and another low moan. His eyes fell shut.

Teyla felt her fear rise up again. She knew he was suffering and
rescue still seemed distant. She pulled out her transponder and
studied it as it reflected back at her from her hand. To call for
help would risk everything. If she waited too long, Sheppard would
die for certain. The thrum of the Wraith ships could be heard over
the ridge. She looked back at Sheppard with helplessness.

*******

The small green marble came into view as the jumper moved
invisibly through the space gate and out from behind the plum banded
mother planet.

Lorne focused on the distant moon and adjusted the ships controls for
a silent entry into the atmosphere. Night was breaking diagonally
over the surface like a deep gash on the face of a melon.

"I have her. The signal is weak, but there. We will be in proximity
soon."

"Weak? What do you mean weak?"

"It is being obscured by the energy fields of the Wraith ships. They
are close to her. It might be a big problem. We may have to set down
outside of the field range."

"You mean walk in?"

"Yeah. Not the best plan. Looks like the energy field may disrupt our
systems. I am beginning to read interference already. Crap!"

"What?"

"The hives…They are actively scanning…And Teyla…Her signal is
practically at their doorstep. There is no way we can set down there
and not be noticed."

Ronon studied the HUD. Lorne pulled up a topo map of the area. It
revealed deep canyons that bordered a small ocean. Ronon pointed at
the shoreline opposite the ridge that blocked the hives. "Set it
there. We can make that."

Lorne licked his swollen lip. "I don't know Ronon, It might be too
close. We are gonna need some cover. I am reading Wraith all over in
scattered groups. There is a small canyon there…" He pointed a few
kilometers further away from the ships. "That should do it."

"Fine, let's just get there."Ronon grumbled.

"Five minutes."

*******

********************CHAPTER 4

Night had consumed the curve of the moon as the Jumper set down
in a tight box canyon north of Teyla's location. Cloaked among the
rocks, the ship blended into the dark as Ronon and Lorne stepped out
onto the frosted alien terrain.

Both men were heavily armed and moved swiftly. Without a sound, Lorne
and Ronon followed the transponder's signal, careful to watch for
company.

*****

Teyla held tight, keeping Sheppard warm while she listened for any
sound that might indicate danger. He was quiet and unconscious, but
breathing steady. She thought about the transponder again but decided
to wait a little longer.

She could feel her own fatigue tugging at her, wanting to sleep. The
cold was seductive in that way. The comfort of Sheppard's fragile
warmth was seductive as well. It was soothing to be against him. Even
though he was incapacitated, she still felt his protective presence.
She pondered how much that really meant to her. Having the
opportunity to be so close to him made her realize just how deep
their bond was. It made her all the more determined to get him home.

As the night progressed, the icy air seemed to amplify the sound of
any movement; her own or any passing wildlife. Various creatures
moved about in the distance, disturbing the silence from time to time
making her flinch.

Her heart rate began to increase as she felt it; Wraith were close
by. It wasn't until she heard the rock fall on the cliff across from
her that she grabbed her stunner in earnest.

Squinting up into the inky sky she could make out the outline of
Wraith soldiers above, traveling single file. Blocking Sheppard's
body, she watched them with deadly focus from her hiding place in the
shallow cave. They moved off, unaware of her presence.

The wrenching discomfort she had come to know as their essence
dissipated in her chest with every foot fall they made away from her
but did not leave entirely. She feared there could be sentries on the
cliffs above. She was about to lie back when something else rattled
nearby. Teyla honed in on the sound. She could see a group of carrion
cleaners moving toward her.

She froze. They were larger than the one Sheppard had killed.
Adrenaline pushed into her as she counted three. She could hear their
hissing as they ambled forward. They paused, smelling the air as
their eyes reflected orange.

Teyla wanted to use her stunner but the Wraith were still too close.
Their cover would be blown immediately. With no choice, she pulled
two knives from the sand nearby; both large and razor sharp. She
stood ready as they turned. They had picked up Sheppard's blood
scent.

Like massively muscled dragons, they charged her. She engaged two,
catching her blades under their throats, inflicting serious damage.
Black acidic fluid sprayed out, just missing her face.

They ran past a few feet and swung around, lunging rabidly for her
arms. Their teeth caught the starlight, glistening as the scaled
flesh that housed them pulled back. The smell of death coated their
heavy breath as they opened their vice like jaws.

She jumped up out of the way at the last second and drove the knives
into their backs. One fell dead. The other snapped its head back and
sliced her forearm before it pulled its self off of her weapon with
an angry flail. She could see the third nearly arriving at
Sheppard's feet.

Desperate to get to him, she had no choice to finish her current
battle. She had to turn and take the full brunt of the animal as it
was now aimed for her again. It knocked its arrow like head into her
causing her to gasp.

She held onto it and drove a blade into the base of its skull. It
fell immediately, throwing her forward onto the sand. She righted
herself and took off running.

The third carrion cleaner had reached him. She bolted for it and
jumped onto its back. It hissed violently as she severed its neck
half way, ending the attack. It fell in a wet heap.

Terrified, she moved to Sheppard. He was unconscious. The cleaner
had bitten into his arm. Arterial blood pulsed out, pooling around
him. He was losing blood quickly.

Without a thought she felt for the wound and pressed in. She pulled
her small cloth bandana from her waistband. She wadded it up and
placed it against the wound.

With one hand she removed his belt and fastened it gently around his
arm over the wound so the bandana would be held. Within seconds, the
bleeding stopped. She watched his hand, making sure it stayed pink.
After a few minutes she was satisfied the wound was stable.

Teyla realized she was shaking. Looking down at her own arm, she
noticed a long, superficial wound. All though painful from the acid
like saliva, it was not serious. Turning her attention back to
Sheppard, she could see that he was pale again.

She tucked the coat around him and tried to think what to do next.
She felt her own fear rising up. She knew there could be more
cleaners nearby. The scent of blood would carry on the wind.

She stood up and began dragging each large carcass into the river.
She worked quickly, but strained with each one. They were much
heavier than her.

One by one, she watched them catch the current and move toward the
sea. The tide was soon to wash the shore line of any evidence.
Checking on Sheppard repeatedly, she cleaned the blood from the area
to the best of her ability, then came back to his side.

She was cold and hungry. Teyla reached into her pack and pulled out
the last of her food ration. She had hoped to save it for Sheppard,
but he had been unable to eat anything.

Teyla took a few moments to center herself as she ate, then slipped
back under the coat and pulled herself into him. His body seemed to
steal her warmth without retaining much. He was breathing steady much
to her relief but it seemed nothing could take her regret from her
for allowing him to be hurt further.

Fighting off the urge to sleep, she witnessed the star field above
her shift a little closer to dawn. A random shower of meteors
streaked across the sky, leaving blue vapor trails to cross hatch the
void. The landscape remained quiet and it wasn't long before she felt
the last few Wraith nearby move off.

An hour later, he jerked abruptly, making her sit up. He was barely
awake, moving slightly as if dreaming. Teyla grew afraid. He was far
worse now. The swelling on the back of his head had worsened as well.

As she adjusted his bandage, a shadow came upon her. She froze. Heart
racing, she drew her knife and spun around, coming face to face with
Ronon.

"Hey, you alright?" He whispered.

"Oh, thank goodness! Yes! I am alright. I have the Colonel." She
whispered back, desperately relieved.

Lorne appeared and knelt down, focusing on Sheppard. "Is he alive?"

"Yes, but not by much. He is badly injured. We need to get him back
immediately."

The two men looked at each other, uncertain how to respond until
Ronon broke the silence. "We can't. Not yet anyway. Wraith are
everywhere. They are moving toward the jumper. We are gonna have to
wait it out."

"How many?" She asked.

"Too many. Maybe thirty or more. They are scouting for humans,
sweeping through the valleys."

Lorne removed his pack and opened his med kit. "Teyla, what are his
injuries?" He asked as he pulled out a few items.

"His head. He lost consciousness many hours ago. I can't wake him.
His legs…He can't move them. He has a broken leg. His shoulder…He has
a deep wound on his arm. He has bled…" She seemed to shake, trying to
say everything at once.

Ronon moved close to her. "It's Ok." He said, putting his hand on her
shoulder.

She took a deep breath and continued. "When I found him, he was
nearly dead from exposure. I have been trying to keep him warm. It
has not been easy."

Lorne nodded as he assimilated the check list. He felt Sheppard's
faint, racing pulse and checked his respiration. He gingerly felt the
back of his head. "Not good." He whispered to himself. He pulled a
pen light from his pocket and hid it behind his hand as he opened his
eyes to glimpse at his pupils." He is pretty bad. How long since he
has been like this?"

" An hour or so before you arrived. We were attacked."

"Wraith?"Lorne asked.

"No, cleaners. There were three."

Ronon put his arm around her. "You Ok? Are you hurt?"

"Just a scratch. I am fine. John was bitten. More than once."

"What? What are you talking about?"Lorne looked up.

" Wraith carrion cleaner." Teyla replied, pointing to Sheppard's arm
and shoulder.

"A what?" Lorne grimaced as he examined his commanding officer's
shoulder. "What the hell?" He mumbled. As he peeled back the fabric
covering the wound, he saw that it looked haphazard and angry as if
it had been burned. Traces of blood clung to the edges of the wound.
It smelled bad.

"You don't want to know."Ronon added.

Lorne sighed as he looked at Sheppard."I have to do something."

"Major?" Teyla asked, disturbed by his tone.

"He's in shock. We have to stabilize him somewhat." Lorne looked
around the area. " Ronon, grab those timbers. We need to make a
stretcher. Here, use this." He tossed a roll of duct tape at him from
his pack.

"Are we gonna move him?"

"Not yet, but I need to get his legs up without bending him. I need
to tip him. He's lost a lot of blood. It will help with the shock."

Ronon immediately set to work. He glanced at Teyla. He could see her
sadness and concern.

"Hey, you did a good job." He said softly as he strapped two wooden
branches together."Hell of a thing, finding him in such a place and
fighting those damn things off. We will get him home."

She feigned a smile, but felt her sadness wash over her again.

Lorne looked at her. "He's right Teyla. You did great."

She was not convinced."Do you need help Major?"She asked; her voice
searching within for strength.

"Yeah. Wish we had more light…Here, put this under his head." He
handed her an ice pack." He rummaged in his pack and pulled out a
black garbage bag. "Ronon, keep watch. I will have to use some light.
Teyla, I am gonna make a small tent over him so I can hide the light
while I work. I will need you to hold it up. Since we are gonna be
here for a bit, I will try an IV. I just have one round, so let's
hope it is enough."

With a quick cut from his knife, he converted the black plastic and
moved under it with a pen light in his mouth. After a few moments, he
emerged with a small bag of lactated ringer's solution and staked it
on a shaft of drift wood. Teyla was surprised by Major Lorne's
medical skill.

"Has Carson been teaching you?"

"A little, but I have some basic field training. What you see is
about what I know. He has lost a lot of blood…You said he was
conscious?"Lorne asked.

"Yes. We spoke for a bit. He seemed confused. He said his vision was
blurry. His memory was also impaired."

"And his legs?"

"He seemed to be unable to feel or move them. His spine is bruised.
Major, what does it mean?"

Lorne gently slipped his hand under Sheppard's back and felt the
swelling. He sighed. "It's not good. We need Beckett and we need him
three days ago. Unfortunately, we are gonna have to make due." He was
fearful that his back was broken.

Lorne swallowed hard as he examined his leg. "You do this? Brace his
leg?"

"No. It was like that."

"Good job if he did, man…Must of hurt."

"He gonna make it?"Ronon asked quietly.

"I don't know. It's out of my skill set. Teyla's right. We do have to
get him back." Lorne tried to hide his fear. He removed the belt from
Sheppard's arm and applied a pressure wrap. With his team mates
assisting, he positioned Sheppard on the stretcher and raised his
legs slightly. Lorne rubbed his own icy hands together as he assessed
the results of his efforts.

Ronon removed his coat and covered Teyla's shoulders. "Gotta keep you
warm too."

"Thank you Ronon." Teyla felt immediate relief from the cold. She
sighed deeply, taking a moment to focus her thoughts.

Ronon turned to Lorne. "What do you want to do?"

Lorne continued to look at Sheppard as he spoke in hushed
tones. "Well, he has been triaged as much as I am capable of. I want
to let the IV help…Wait until he is a bit more stable. Wait until we
have a clear path free of Wraith. The second we do, we will have to
make it in one shot. I am not sure how he will take to being moved,
but we have to try."

*******

Woolsey sat across from the hostile IOA representative with full
defenses up. "I admit, I don't think Sheppard is alive but he saved
his team and nearly the entire settlement. They are not responsible
for what happened and I will stand by them and my report no matter
how you try to twist this!
I will not condone or recommend any disciplinary action. There was
no way to know that there was an impending attack and Atlantis was
not compromised. We have been following your directives all along,
and although we sometimes have to adapt IOA policy to this
environment, we do our best." He let himself catch his breath without
appearing to back down.

The IOA representative glared back. "Let me remind you, that unlike
Dr. Weir, you do not have a close relationship to the President. You
have no strings to pull and you are subject to the entire force of
the IOA if disciplinary action is warranted. Dr. McKay did not follow
up on a suspicious lead. Sheppard has dealt with the Wraith how many
times? He should have better prepared. I can't justify away missions
with so little profit and so much damage to our resources."

Woolsey leaned forward and folded his hands. "So, in essence, you are
saying both senior staff members should have been psychic and if we
don't make a profit don't bother. We need alliances out here if we
are to survive. Plain and simple! What exactly would you classify as
profit? Where would you draw the line? And keep in mind; you are
threatening to destroy two members of this expedition that are
irreplaceable."

The IOA representative smirked. "Three, actually. Dr. Beckett could
have rendered aid during the attack. Instead he took off!"

Woolsey pushed himself away from the table and stood up,
exasperated. "Have you been listening to anything that has been said?
The Wraith have presented a new strategy. Something we could not
predict. Do you know why? Because they are desperate. We are making a
difference. They are getting weaker! "

The representative crossed his legs and looked over the gate
room. "Regardless, this does not have to be our fight. We have enough
problems to deal with back home! This is ultimately Colonel
Sheppard's fault! He is responsible for the Wraith!" He turned his
gaze to Woolsey.

"I have heard the staff going on about how Colonel Sheppard needs to
be rescued. The dissention if unacceptable. I will not authorize
risking anything else. You say there was no way he could have
survived! So be it! The lockdown will remain in effect and I am
recommending that this endeavor be shut down. Colonel Caldwell can
take over and see that the withdraw goes smoothly."

Woolsey felt his line had just been crossed. "For you to blame
Colonel Sheppard is reprehensible! You would trade all we have
learned for a financial profit margin? Don't claim your victory yet!
I do have some recourse and I will use it! I will abide by the
lockdown until I hear from the rest of the IOA, but until then, do
not assume you have command here!"

The two men stared at each other in stalemate, king to king on the
chess board. They were blinded outright by the explosion.

Woolsey felt for his com. "Dr. McKay! What is happening?" He held his
hands to his face, trying to coax his eyesight back under the shelter
of his palms. A loud crackle broke through the PA system in the gate
room. McKay's voice filled the blinded space.

"Another generator…It blew. We are stabilizing the system but it will
take some time. I have found the problem and I am inputting the codes…
Stand by, it will take some time…McKay out!"

Before Woolsey could respond, the PA cut out. The temporarily blind
IOA rep snapped. "Who exactly is running things around here?"

Woolsey was angry."McKay will rectify the problem. It was your order
to remove him from his post that initiated this entire situation in
the first place! "Woolsey could sense his vision starting to flicker
back into viable sight. "I think, as soon as we can see, you should
leave."

Woolsey thought about Ronon and Teyla. He hoped he had spared them of
any fallout. Now that Sheppard was gone, He knew that the IOA would
not recommend aliens to occupy a position on Atlantis. He thought
that perhaps it was better this way. He just hoped they were safe.

*******

Zelenka slumped back into his chair and breathed a sigh of
relief. The recording had worked…For now. A single line of text
appeared on his control monitor: "Follow your lead? Chuck."

Zelenka leaned forward and typed his reply: "Yes."Need more time."

*******

Jumper two hung in orbit, invisible over the atmosphere of the
Wraith moon. McKay and Beckett fidgeted in their seats as they took
in the sight.

"What now Rodney? Why have we stopped."Carson asked.

"Because we have yet one more impossible problem. Not only are there
two hives down near where we need to go, but there is one that just
appeared in orbit of that planet." He pointed at the large pastel gas
giant that dominated the sky.

"Do they know we are here?"

"Not yet. I am reading Teyla and Ronon. They are together. That must
mean either they found something or they are captured."

"Can we communicate with them yet?"

"No, we both have to be out of range of our Wraith friends. They have
really improved their sensing ability." Rodney took a deep
breath. "They are thick in the middle of Wraith land. We have to
sneak in and assess the situation. They still might detect us. Still
want to do this?"

"Yes."Carson replied with determination.

"Alright. Here we go. I am sending Zelenka our situation now."

"This is crazy."Carson whispered as he stared out at the massive
Wraith hive ship.

"Yeah, but what else is new? Beats being interrogated by the stiffs
at SGC. Here we go."

*******

Teyla sat by Sheppard's side, his hand in hers as she watched over
him.

"How is he?" Ronon asked.

"He is not so pale. His pulse is not so fast. Major Lorne's efforts
have helped I think. " She was clearly distracted, half hearing him
as he replied.

"We are gonna go soon. Just a few minutes. Do you need anything?"

"Help me secure my coat around him, to protect him from the cold."She
said.
"Let's use mine. It will fit him better."

"Ok. We must move him carefully."

Ronon nodded as she took her coat back and put it on. It was warm
from Sheppard's body heat. It reassured her. Major Lorne knelt down
and assisted as they dressed him in the heavy leather shell. Slightly
oversized, it covered him more than adequately. As Teyla fastened the
last wooden closure, a bright yellow flash lit up the sky, followed
by a rumble.

"What was that?" Teyla asked in a stunned voice. Ronon and Lorne
crept out and looked in the direction of the blast. The sky captured
the remnant of a cinder laced cloud.

"That…Was the jumper." Lorne said with resignation. He wiped his face
in frustration and turned to his team mates. Ronon and Teyla realized
the hand that fate had just played them. "We are stranded." He added.

Ronon's anger simmered under his skin, but remained controlled."We
have to call for help. I can take the transmitter out of range, at
least far away from here. It will give you a chance to get Sheppard
home."

"Ronon, no! We must find another way. We cannot trade one life for
another!" Teyla exclaimed.

Lorne looked at her honestly."He's right Teyla. That might be the
only way now. Even if Col. Sheppard can hang on, our odds of escape
are slim now. Atlantis may be reluctant to assist. If they get our
signal. The interference is strong. Let's just take a moment and
think."

"Think the Wraith will find us?"Ronon asked as he looked out at the
closest ridge.

Lorne nodded."It is only a matter of time. If they found the jumper
cloaked, they will find us. We will have to move."He checked his
scanner. " The Wraith are everywhere and it will be light soon."

Lorne looked Sheppard over again. He looked gaunt and fragile.
Lorne knew that they were nearly out of time. "We are going to have
to accept that he might not make it. I am not giving up. Not yet, but
we need to be clear that if need be, we will go on without him."
Lorne looked at them with regret.

"We understand. But we are not there yet." Teyla added stoically.

Lorne was grateful for her resolve. "Alright, we need to think of
where we go from here. The patrols will be heading back anytime."

*******

The jumper glided through the upper atmosphere, cautiously
approaching the location of his friends. Rodney looked out to cockpit
window in disbelief as he witnessed the flash in the distance.. "Oh
no!"

"What was that?" Carson gasped.

"That was Jumper one…Crap! Hold on…The transponders Zelenka gave them…
They are still active. I have coordinates. They are down there, but
the Wraith have them surrounded. We have to do something!"

"I'm all for it, but what in bloody hell can we do? There are three
hives now!"

"We are going to have to draw them off."

"In this little thing? Are you insane Rodney?"

"Yes, if need be and this is as good as a time as any. Carson?"

"What?"

"If I black out, fly this thing strait for home."

"Oh shut up man and tell me what the plan is!"

Rodney turned the Jumper around and headed back out toward the gate.
He was silent for a moment as he read his data pad that rested on the
cockpit dash.

"Rodney, we haven't much time! We may be too late already!"

"Stop!" He held his hand out while he kept reading.

"Rodney!" Carson's face was flushing pink with frustration.

"Just a minute!" He sniped.

"Please! Tell me!" Carson pleaded.

Rodney snapped his attention to his friend.

"Ok! I have something…The large gas giant we flew past? Remember?"

"The big purple planet?"

Rodney's eyes checked his data pad again. "Yeah, it has an atmosphere
of interest. I think…Yes! I know how to create a diversion."

"I know that look! What exactly do you have in mind?" Carson wanted
to run.

"It's a long shot, but I have some readings here that tell me we have
a recipe for combustion. The planet; it has a ridiculous abundance of
methane, hydrogen, hydrocarbons galore like acetylene and best of
all, oxygen! Lots and lots of oxygen which is just bizarre! A freak
of nature that just might come together in one big bang!"

"You are frightening me Rodney! You're not going to blow the damn
thing up are you?"

"No, not even close. We would need nukes for that… But we can start
an atmospheric disturbance that will get their attention, maybe
interfere with their ships systems. I am not sure if my jamming code
will work to hide us, so this will cover the bases.The good news is
it could cause a lot of interference and we could get past them
without being sensed; loose them in the noise. Best case scenario…It
might even disable them!"

"And the bad news, Rodney? There is always bad news with this stuff!"

"The bad news is we will have to exhaust most of our drones. And…We
could get caught in the interference and loose power which would
result in our untimely deaths in a myriad of ways…"

"Rodney! That's not helping!"

"Like I said, it is a long shot. Nothing could and probably will
happen." Rodney pointed at Carson as another piece fell into
place. "We will need more than the drones….Too bad we don't have a
nuke…Mmmm…Oh! Yes, I know!" Rodney's blue eyes were brimming with
light as he snapped his fingers.

"How in blazes are you going to do all that?"

Rodney's excitement spilled out as his epiphany gained momentum,
making him strain to stand up out of the pilot's seat until he
remembered he was strapped in.

"Perfect choice of words! We are going to ignite the atmosphere! It
won't last long…Planetary physics stuff you wouldn't understand;
pressures, gas densities, etc, but it might be enough. The equations
are a little off, but… We fire a concentrated burst of drones right
into the stratosphere and run. Timing will be critical. Kinda like
lighting an M80 fire cracker and diving for cover when you were a
kid. Just bigger…A whole lot bigger. " His hands waved about his head
as if he was fanning a flame.

"Is there anything living on that world?"

"Naw!...Just microbes probably in the clouds…Or something making the
oxygen and methane…They won't be affected…Not totally anyway…Well
actually…Look, we have to do this cause I can't think of anything
else right now!"

"How long will it last?'

"I said, I don't know! I don't have all the readings! Even if I did,
you can't really predict something…Wow…"Rodney's attention diverted.

"What? What now?"

"The hive, by the planet…It is really close…Close to the atmosphere…
This could work!…" The jumper was nearly at its destination; a high
orbit above the lavender northern pole.

"Won't they shoot at us when they see us firing?"

"Well, yeah, but we are gonna run. Lighting an M80, remember! Didn't
you play with explosives or chemicals when you were little?"

"No, can't say I did. I liked saving things." Carson said with an
irritated sigh.

"Strap you're self down and watch the HUD. When you see the distance
indicator reach that green line, yell out `Green'!"

"What in God's name are you gonna be do' in? Shouldn't you be
watching?"

"I need to fire the drones…Crap! I am not very good at this, alright!
I need to close my eyes for a moment, OK?! Just tell me when it hits
green then tell me when it starts to back off. It will hit yellow.
When it does, yell out yellow! Can you do that?"He snapped, hands
waving until the jumper faltered off course.

"Yes, I think I have it. Sorry, just nervous. Scared to death really,
I…"

"Carson! We are close, pay attention! Here we go!"

"Aw bloody hell!" Carson gripped the armrest until his knuckles
turned white.

The cloaked jumper skimmed the exosphere of the planet and Rodney
closed his eyes. Carson watched the HUD flash as Rodney piloted into
Wraith sensor range.

"Green! It's Green!" Carson blurted.

The jumper popped into view, releasing a massive stream of drones.
They rocketed into the opaque atmosphere. Carson yelled out
again."Yellow!" Rodney opened his eyes in time for his sweat to sting
them.

Another round of drones exploded forward, striking the hive precisely
on the shield generator conduits as the jumper dove into the
atmosphere.

The hive began to shoot back, narrowly missing them as they flew
through the clouds to evade detection and back into space fully
cloaked just out of range.

Carson was frantic."Rodney! You fired on them! Why did you do that?"

"To damage their shields!" A blue burst grazed the cockpit
window. "Oh no! Gotta go!"

Rodney gave his concentration everything as he headed toward the moon
at breakneck speed. Once at a safe distance, he swung around to look
back, keeping an eye riveted to the HUD readings.

"Damn it! Nothing!" Rodney yelled.

"Well ,what is that then?" Carson numbly asked as he pointed. A white
glow began to light up the planet. The hive was still firing; right
into the planet's atmosphere.

"What are they do' in? They should be coming after us!"

"Oh my god! It is working! I can't believe it!" Rodney giggled out
loud as he pointed at the screen and shook his finger.

"What? Is it going to explode? We're gonna die, aren't we?!" Carson's
voice broke with panic.

"No! The hive! It is firing at the planet, into the reaction we
started! The heat is building! This is fabulous! They think they are
being attacked! Look!"

In a brilliant display, the atmosphere expanded in a spit second,
catching the hive in a plasma ejection. It shattered the ship into
little pieces. Rodney looked on as his mouth hung open.

"Mary mother of pearl!" Carson exclaimed."You meant to do that?!"

"Uh, well…No, not quite like that, but it will work! Holy crap! The
hive! It was totally destroyed!"

Fragments of the hive began to fall toward the simmering planet and
glow red as they began to incinerate on entry.

"Carson, just so you know, we were so beyond lucky! The odds of that
happening…I can't even think about it!"

The HUD lit up with a warning. " Oh no! We gotta get out of here!
Shockwave from the ejection!" Rodney was vibrating on adrenaline; a
manic smile fell from his face as he realized the danger. He turned
the jumper toward the moon and sped for it.

Carson sat still, staring out in terror at they turned. "Rodney!" He
pointed at the moon. Two hives were speeding toward them.

"I know! Hold on to something!"

* *****

They had made it to the beach at the ocean's edge. The wind made
walking difficult but it was the only area somewhat clear from
interference.

Lorne looked up into the twilight sky over the water and watched in
awe as a great white flash overtook the planetary crescent that was
rising up. A yellow flash followed.

"I don't know what that was, but I have a feeling we have to get the
hell out of here." He said with dread.

Ronon was standing behind him with Teyla. They were holding a
makeshift stretcher that held Sheppard.
"That can't be good." Ronon whispered. Teyla gasped as the two hives
lifted up from the nearby valley and blocked the sky out before
heading off. Lorne and Ronon stared at the sight. "Or maybe that is
good. " He continued.

Just then they heard a groan from the stretcher. Ronon and Teyla set
Sheppard down and came to his side.

"John? John, can you hear me? It's Teyla. I have Major Lorne and
Ronon with me."

Sheppard struggled to open his eyes. The pulsing in his head made it
difficult to see."Tey..Teyla…" He whispered. He reached his hand out
slightly. Lorne came into his view. "We are going to get you home
sir. Hang on."

Ronon looked him right in the eye. "Hey buddy."

Sheppard tried to nod as he closed his eyes again and moaned in pain.
Lorne fingered his transmitter then cued his headset.

"Atlantis, this is jumper one. Need urgent assistance. We have him.
Jumper disabled. Request immediate extraction. Over." Lorne waited.
Static fed back on the open com. "I think there is too much
interference still…"

A crackle came back. "McKay here. ETA five minutes. Stay put. " Lorne
could hear weapons fire.

"McKay! Are you under fire?"Lorne shot back.

"Ah, Yeah! Can't talk!" Ronon heard a scream.

Ronon leaned in, catching the conversation."Was that Beckett?"

"Sure hope so! What the hell is happening! The Daedalus is back on
Earth!"Lorne barked as he looked up in confusion.

Teyla saw that Sheppard's pain was escalating. "John, please, stay
with us. We will be home soon." He gripped her arm as a spasm pulled
his chest away from the stretcher. He gasped for air then fell back,
losing consciousness.

"Major! Please! Help him!" Teyla cried.

Lorne saw he was in trouble and threw himself down next to his
commander. He quickly checked his pulse and respiration then started
to administer CPR, compressing his chest repeatedly then breathing
quickly into his mouth. Teyla watched in disbelief as Lorne forced
air into him. "Come on Sheppard! Stay with me! That's an order! Stay
with me!" He yelled into the wind.

Lorne stopped and checked him. Again, he began compressions with
increased desperation. "John! Stay with me! Stay with us! We need you
John! " Sweat coated Lorne as he worked; every motion exact and
deliberate. It was as if he was willing his own strength into
him. "John! John Sheppard! Stay with me! Atlantis needs you!
Elizabeth needs you!"

Ronon and Teyla stared wide eyed as Lorne continued fighting for him.
After two more rounds, Lorne checked him and then sat back, shaking
slightly. "He's back…He`s back." He whispered, disturbed by nearly
losing him.

Teyla put her hand on his shoulder."Major, thank you." She said
kindly.

Lorne nodded and wiped his forehead. "We need Beckett." He fingered
his headset again."McKay! Come in McKay!" The dim sky lit up with an
icy blue aurora. Lorne's head set screeched with static.

*******

********************CHAPTER 5

Sheppard momentarily held his own as Teyla watched over him.
Lorne and Ronon stood looking out for any sign of the rescue party.

"Can I ask you something?" Ronon pressed.

"Yeah." Lorne replied, meeting his gaze.

"Why did you say `Elizabeth needs you' to him?"

Lorne paused and looked down thoughtfully before
responding. "Sometimes, when you need to reach someone, you have to
make it personal. You have to reach into their being and hold them by
whatever means the most to them. He hasn't forgotten her. He never
will."

Ronon nodded quietly. "None of us will." He whispered back.

Something was moving toward them. The rounded forms of McKay and
Carson came into view. Lorne broke into a run to meet them. "Hey! You
guys ok?"He asked as he caught up.

Rodney flashed Carson a look of warning. Carson responded."Yeah,
fine. Sheppard?"

"We have him. He's in bad shape. Fill you in on the way. Come on!"

Ronon could see them heading back as he knelt down with Teyla. "You
ok?"

"Yes. I just want us to all get back."

"I am proud of you. Sheppard will be proud of you. We are almost
there."

Teyla nodded as she saw them return.

The foot falls ended with the thud of a hard plastic case coming to a
stop by their side. Carson opened it and got to work. He hovered over
Sheppard, cussing under his breath the entire time. "What in blazes
happened to him?…He `s a damn mess!"

Rodney knelt down, hoping for something positive. "Carson?"

Carson flashed him a look that made his heart hurt. `He's playing it
close Rodney, Really close." Carson administered something into a
vein on Sheppard's arm. He rechecked his heart with his stethoscope
for a moment and shook his head. "We have to go now."

*******

Lorne closed the hatch to the jumper and leapt into the pilot
seat while Carson set to work on securing Sheppard to a back board.
Rodney took up position in the co pilot seat and intently fiddled
with his data pad.

Lorne activated the HUD."McKay, the Jumper is damaged…Looks like we
only have half power. We won't be able to cloak and the weapons are
off line. What happened?"

Rodney looked like a little boy in trouble. "Long story, but we were
fired upon by a hive and hit by a plasma burst from the planet."

"A plasma burst?"

Carson chimed in as he slipped a needle in Sheppard's good arm for
fresh IV. "He nearly set the bloody planet of fire! It took out a
hive."

Every eye was on Rodney. Lorne was stunned. "You took down one of the
hives?!"

Rodney wasn't in the mood to take credit."Something like that…And it
was a one shot deal. There are still two out there, so yet one more
reason to get the hell out of here... Let me see what I can do." He
turned around in his seat to access a relay. "Major, will it take
off?"

"Yeah, but if anything comes after us we won't last. Can't run and
can't fight. Don't think we can make it to the gate with two hives in
the area. Can you fix it?"

"I will try. Look at the long range sensors. Do we have company?"
"Not yet. We are gonna need some cover if we sit here. What do you
want to do?"

Rodney was swearing to himself as he rummaged through the bank of
power crystals within the console.. "Hang on…" He spun back around
and pulled up a map of the moon. Everyone was waiting on his word.

Teyla caught a glimpse of Lorne's bruised and slightly swollen face,
at last visible in the stark light of the jumper.

"Major? What happened to you?" She asked with confusion.

"Ask Ronon." He said dryly as he activated a few crystals on the dash.

Ronon shrugged. "That was part of the plan…The part I did not tell
you." He said calmly.

She nodded, unsettled by the observation.

"Gentlemen, I don't mean to pressure ya, but we have to get the
Colonel back as soon as possible!"

"I know that Carson! I am working on it!" Rodney snapped but felt
immediate regret.

"Major, can you get us to the far side, right about here? The rock
formations will boost our shielding while we repair. We can test the
systems on the way."

"Yeah, no problem."

With a lurch, the jumper rose up and moved forward. Lorne took it low
over the small sea, heading back into the night. Rodney looked over
at Carson with worry etched on his face. "How is he doing?" He asked
in a softer tone.

Carson sighed as he passed a portable scanner over him. "He's not
great Rodney. He has not given up…But he has a lot to contend with…
Looks like he took a hell of a fall. Bloody amazing he survived."

Carson set his scanner aside and looked at Rodney. " There are many
problems, all serious but I am particularly concerned about his back
and head. Bad blow to the head…Broken bones...Major blood loss…His
spinal cord is injured. I won't know how bad until we get him home. I
will try to keep him stable, but even with the extra supplies we
brought, I am still very limited as to what I can do for him right
now."

"His spinal cord? You mean like he is…Par…" He asked, fearful.

"Rodney! " Carson snapped, attempting to cut him off so he wouldn't
panic the rest of the crew.

Rodney pushed away his distress as he worked on the relay but
couldn't help but look over at Sheppard. He summoned his
determination with each glance.

As Ronon looked on, Teyla moved to Carson's side. "Can I help?"
Carson finished administering an injection into his IV line. He could
see she needed to keep busy to distract herself from her worry.

"Yes love, now that he is secure, I would like to take a closer look
at his head. While I do that, gently clean his shoulder with this."

He handed her some gauze pads and a bottle of liquid. "I will need
you to work your way over the wound. Don't worry, he won't feel it.
The solution on the cloth will protect the tissues until we can get
him properly cleaned and sewn up. Just be gentle. Once you finish, I
will re-bandage it."

She nodded as she took the supplies from Carson's hands. Teyla
whispered so only Carson could hear. "He could not feel his legs.
They would not work. After his fall, he was in the river for some
time I think. I found him a great distance from the battle site."

Carson nodded. "That may have been what saved him; being so cold for
so long. Hypothermia. Kept the swelling down. Was he conscious for
long?"

"Not at first. I slowly warmed him and he woke. He was confused and
could only manage short conversations then he would sleep. He became
ill. His eyes, they were miss matched."

Carson took a pen light and checked them again."They still are
slightly. He has a serious concussion... Seems you did just the
right thing Teyla."

"Will he survive?" She whispered again.

"If we can keep him stable...I will be damned if I will let him go
without a fight." Carson whispered back.

Teyla began her task and gently wiped him down.
Carson rested on his side, pen light in hand as he examined
Sheppard`s head. A long gash ran across the back of it. "He's going
to need more than stitches here too." He sighed as he proceeded to
apply a clean dressing to the area. Carson looked over Teyla's
work. "Perfect."

The jumper began to buck; the lights began to flicker. " McKay! We
are losing power. I can just make it to the repair location. Hold on
everyone!" Lorne shouted.

In a more graceful decent than expected, Lorne eased the craft down
and nestled it among towering cliffs of glittery basaltic stone. Once
stationary, Lorne checked the sensors. "Ok, we are very alone, but
those hives are still in orbit. What can I do McKay?"

"Keep the cloak up and watch for unexpected guests. I will need an
hour. " He said with a grunt as he wrestled with glowing conduits up
to his elbows. Lorne looked back at Carson. "Can he hold that long
doc?"

"Let's hope so." He sighed with uncertainty.
Lorne looked back to the HUD and watched the proximity sensors. It
was going to be a long hour.

*******

*************************Chapter 6

Zelenka stood nervously behind his work station as the incoming
transmission was received: IDC 9978649302-rmckay19671310. Atlantis
base. Jumper 2 inbound. STAT med team at gate. Mission successful.
Alive but critical. All accounted for. ETA 14 min.

It took only a moment for Woolsey to appear in the doorway. "You
haven't seen McKay have you?"

Zelenka stared at him.

"Would you like to let me in on a few things Radek?" He said with ire.

Zelenka felt panic rise in his throat. He resigned himself to
confront it. "Mmm, Yes, I suppose I should."

Woolsey approached the monitor. Zelenka started to stutter. "They…The…
They found him. Col. Sheppard, that is. They are requesting a medical
team to be standing by in the gate room when they arrive in fourteen…
No, thirteen minutes now."

" What? They…How? They found Sheppard? Is he alive?"Woolsey asked,
shocked.

"Yes." Zelenka stared at the new commander, bracing for anything.

"Who exactly found him?"

"His team. His… Entire team. Ronon, Tey…"

"Yes, I know who his team consists of. That would explain the absence
of everyone…"

"Yes. It would."

"Who ordered this?" He asked tersely. Secretly, we was relieved
someone broke the rules. He wished it had been him.

"I don't …Really know. " Zelenka gave his best impression of
innocence.

"I see. Did they do this kind of thing when Dr. Weir was in charge?"

"On the record? " Zelenka looked over the top of his glasses as if he
was looking over a bunker wall.

"Yes." Woolsey pinned him to the spot with his eyes. Zelenka pictured
Elizabeth and summoned his courage.

"Alright. The truth is…She would have never allowed the Colonel to be
left behind. Or anyone. She would have found a way to rescue him."

Woolsey moved away as if he had been slapped. He put his hand on his
hips in restrained frustration.
"There is this trust issue that keeps coming up for me Radek. Is it
because they don't trust me?"

"No. It is not that really."

"Is it because I am the new guy and they don't know me?" Woolsey
moved back to him and leaned on Zelenka's work station. Zelenka held
his ground.

"It is not that either."

"Then what exactly is it, because I need to count on my team and I
need to trust them. If they go running off against orders in all
directions what am I to think?"

"The truth?"

"Yes, again, let's have the truth since this is a new thing lately."
He said sarcastically.

Zelenka surprised him by leaning in as if to share a confidence."It
is not that they do not trust you. Rather it is that they trust each
other. They would do the same for you as they have done for the
Colonel and him for them. Sheppard's rule: leave no one behind."

"I broke that rule?" The epiphany washed over Woolsey.

"Yes. If I might say so…"

"And they would do the same for me?"

"Without a doubt. That is what has held this expedition together.
Trust. The trust in your team mates and the trust of doing the right
thing."

"And they thought leaving Sheppard, even though searching might be
too dangerous, was the wrong thing."

"Yes. Considering we had no actual proof he was unreachable."

Woolsey knew he was right. He felt the severity of his mistake. He
was angry that he caved into the demands of the IOA.
"And letting Teyla and Ronon go to find him wasn't enough?"

"It was not."

"So it is an all or nothing team thing?"

"Yes. The whole team was needed."

"And what of Dr. Weir being left behind? Didn't Sheppard break his
own rule?"

"No. He was honoring her order. It was her sacrifice. She was not
sacrificing anyone else. She took the responsibility of protecting
the team. Honoring that order has been perhaps the hardest thing the
Colonel has ever had to do."

"And Lt. Ford?"

"Ultimately, he did not wish to be found. The Colonel did everything
he knew how to do, but you can't save someone who does not want to be
saved."

Woolsey fell silent for a moment. "Contact the Infirmary. Tell them
to have a medical team ready to receive Dr. Beckett and The Colonel."

"Right away."

"Radek." Woolsey looked at him with a more centered expression.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." Woolsey walked out quickly; the weight of a lesson
learned on his shoulders.


*******

The rear hatch of Jumper 2 broke its seal, reuniting Sheppard and his
team with Atlantis. Within seconds, Ronon and Lorne carried Sheppard
to the waiting medical team. They carefully placed him, back board
and all onto a gurney. Carson yelled out commands to the nurses and
techs as they hurriedly made their way towards the infirmary.

Woolsey stood watching as if partitioned by a sheet of glass; he was
separated from the effort before him like an afterthought. His eyes
fell to Sheppard, bandaged and bruised in an unconscious state at the
mercy of the moment.

Woolsey noticed how Sheppard was surrounded by each of his team
members, protecting him down to the last second before they had to
release him into the hands of Carson.

Without a word, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney solemnly disappeared out of
sight, leaving Woolsey feeling tremendous remorse. Lorne stepped up
to him.

"Sir."

"Ah, yes, Major. Great work…All of you. "He said with a humbled tone.
Woolsey was sincere but he knew his words fell short. Lorne paused,
taking a good look at him.

"Mr. Woolsey, I will have a full report for you in the morning, if
that will suffice."

"Yes, that's fine. I appreciate it." He wanted to connect and say
something meaningful, but the undertow of his own guilt stole his
language. His eyes seemed to convey his regret. Lorne responded.

"Sir, we found him alive, and the doc will do everything in his power
to save him. We have done our part. Now the stage belongs to Beckett.
Let's hope Sheppard still has some fight left in him." He said
softly, showing some empathy.

Woolsey hung his head for a moment then looked at Lorne. "I am so
sorry that I …That I did not act. I truly hope he does fight. I had
no idea…"

Lorne took a step closer, speaking calmly with respect. "If I may
offer something Sir?"

"Of course."

"Granting that he pulls through, take some time to get to know him.
He did that for every one of us, and we haven't forgotten it. I hope
you would do the same; get to know us. It takes time Sir. "

Woolsey was shocked and relieved as he nodded. He tried to regain his
orderly persona. "Major, I…I would like you to momentarily take over
the Colonel's duties…Until we know..."

Lorne nodded. "Yes, Sir." Lorne motioned to the Jumper. "I have to go
park her, then I will be checking in on the Colonel. If you need
anything, just let me know."

"Thank you Major." He said.

Woolsey stood and watched the jumper slip into the bay above, leaving
him to stand alone in the quiet of the gate room. Taking a look
around, he saw that every post was empty. The gate room crew were
down the hall heading toward the infirmary. It was in that quiet
moment, that he realized just how much he had to live up to.

*******

Woolsey walked into chaos.

"Everyone out! Right now!" Carson yelled as Sheppard began to
convulse. Nurses swarmed the table to assist Carson as he fought to
bring the moment under control.

Sheppard's team stood watching in stunned silence as a nurse came up
and gently backed them away.

"You must go. Please. We will take care of him." She said quietly as
the noise from the gurney grew louder along with Carson's orders.

Rodney numbly backed away, right into Woolsey.

"What is happening?" Woolsey asked with evident concern.

Rodney found it difficult to respond. He kept trying to look past the
fabric screen that had been pulled in front of him. The nurse put her
hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Please, you must go."

Rodney could hear Carson. "Damn it! We go again! One more! Hand me
one more! I am not letting you go John!"

Through a break in the screen, he saw Sheppard arch desperately
against the restraints as his body struggled; each muscle pulled
tight in spasm as if it was trying to shake off an attack.

It was everything Rodney could do to not bolt past the nurse. He
caught a glimpse of Carson, looking at him gravely then quickly
returning his attention to Sheppard. Carson worked feverously over
him, countering the impending failure of his damaged body.

The automated alarm on the life signs monitor punctuated the
frenetic scene as foreign hands tried to push Rodney out of the room.
He was terrified.

His fear choked him as the alarm soon fell silent heralding a
significant change. It wasn't until he heard Carson's voice that he
realized Sheppard had been snatched back from the edge. "We have him.
Good. Keep it up lad."

Rodney looked down in confusion to see Teyla's hand in his. She
gazed at him trying to reflect a measure of comfort, sharing the fear
that had just washed through the room. He tried to breathe as
Woolsey vied for his attention.

"Dr.McKay…Rodney, we should let them have room. They will let us
know. Come on." He said.

Rodney looked at him, still holding Teyla's hand. "I need to stay. I
have to." He whispered. He was stuck to the spot, frozen by his
emotion.

The sounds behind the screen began to quiet down. Through his panic
induced fog Rodney heard Carson again.

"All right, looks good. We need to prep him."

Rodney looked back to Carson, who swung around the screen. Carson
registered the dread on his friends face.

"Rodney, it is alright for the moment although I think he likes to
scare the hell out of me. We have his convulsions under control. We
are going to have to go in and drain off a subdural hematoma…It's
small, but causing trouble. I should be able to get to it fairly
quickly. I will keep you updated..."

"Carson, can I stay?"

"It will take a while. You haven't eaten and you need to. Go get
something and I will have one of the nurses bring you in when he is
out of surgery."

Rodney just stared at him. Carson knew he needed to redirect his
intention. "Teyla, can you?"

She nodded. "Rodney, come on. I am with you. John will be here.
Carson will take good care of him. We will come back soon…Come on."
Her voice seemed to free his feet, as he stepped forward.

"Carson, will he make it? Please…"Rodney pressed.

"Aye, I think so. We are restoring his blood volume, which is part of
the reason he is having such a hard time. The surgery will take care
of the other part. Don't worry. We have him."

Rodney nodded slowly and turned toward the door with Teyla's help. He
walked out, forgetting to respond to Woolsey. Woolsey stuttered at
Carson.

"I...I...Will he..."

"We will do our best. We always do. I will let you know. I have to go
back to him now." Carson slipped back around the screen, leaving
Woolsey to face Ronon. He braced for the worst.

Without expression, Ronon moved to him. "Come on, let's go. They have
enough to deal with.' He said, walking away.

Woolsey blinked in surprise; he had expected anger. A mix of fear and
gratitude worked through him as he stumbled back into the hall with
the rest of the control room staff. He realized that this lesson was
one that would continue to unfold.

*********

Rodney was there, by his bedside as Carson conducted an exam on
Sheppard. He rested quietly amidst numerous tubes and wires the
snaked around the bedframe. Sheppard appeared thin and shadowed. His
normally handsome face was obscured by various healing abrasions and
a nasal cannula.

His head remained bandaged but allowed his dark hair to have its own
say. Rodney sat, staring at his friend, hoping for something.
Anything.

"Rodney, it will be a while. He has just been through hell and back.
He will probably be out for some time."

"It has been a week Carson. Is he ever going to wake up?"

"Yes, he will. It could happen any time. Be patient."

"I'm sorry. I do trust you. Just hate seeing him…Like this."

Carson pulled back the blanket slowly, revealing his bruised body.
The color had now changed from purple to yellow and black. He looked
as if he had crawled out of a chimney. Rodney gasped."God, Carson!"

"As you can see, he will need some time. He's not going to be his
pretty self for quite a bit." Carson said as he gently checked his
reflexes, moving slowly up and down each leg. Carson was careful to
maintain Sheppard's privacy as he worked, strategically adjusting the
blanket much to Rodney's relief.

Rodney watched pensively, taking note of how careful Carson was being
as he touched his fragile body.

"Thank you Carson. Thank you for agreeing to go with me and find him."

"How could I not Rodney? He's my friend too. I don't think I have a
better one, other than you."

Rodney could see the stitching holding his shoulder together as
Carson began to change the dressing. The wound was graphic,
testifying to the brutality he had endured. Rodney had to look away
as Carson finished.

"Do we know…How he will be? I mean, will he walk and everything?" He
asked.

"Aye, most likely. He will need a little re-education but his surgery
went well. We just can't mention his hair."They both looked at his
bandaged head.

"God, you're right! How much did you…?"Rodney whispered.

"Just in the back. It will probably grow in before he realizes it."
Carson said with a hopeful wince.

Rodney rested his head into his palms. "Any other time and that would
be funny…Damn Carson. He really almost died this time."

`Yeah, he did. But, I suspect he would miss being around to give you
grief. I know I would. That's one reason to stay."

"Hardy har har…Seriously, If we had waited, just one more day…One
more hour…If my cell phone had crapped out…"

"I know. I think he is meant to stay. This place, Atlantis…It has a
hold." Carson gently felt Sheppard's low back, palpating it with his
fingers.

Rodney stared at Sheppard as if he was listening to him.
"I wish Elizabeth was here…for him."

"Aye. I know. He hasn't really been the same."

"Carson, you know when you asked me about keeping promises…?"

"Yeah...I was wondering ab…" Rodney cut him off.

"Carson! Look!" Rodney pointed at Sheppard's face.

"Hey now, get a look at that…I think buddy boy is waking." Carson
said, hovering close.

Sheppard's eyes fluttered open slowly as he drew in a deep breath.
His first look at home came to him in a thick smear like wet cotton
gauze. He took his time, waiting for his senses to emerge from beyond.

"Sheppard?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard stared at him through his disorientation, trying to
recognize the face.

Rodney moved closer, fearful at his lack of response. "John?" He
said quietly.

Sheppard swallowed then licked his lips.

"John, are you with us? Can you hear us?"Carson asked.

Sheppard waited a few minutes more until he remembered himself and
became present. His mind cleared as he looked at his friends.

In a low, gravel weighted whisper that made them lean in; he looked
at Carson and spoke slowly. "Happy to see me… Or am I naked for a
reason?"

Rodney jumped back, realizing that not only had Carson neglected to
cover him up yet but the blanket had lost its hold and had slipped
away. He was speechless.

Carson smiled. "He's going to be fine! Just fine Rodney!" He said
happily as he replaced the blanket over him.

Sheppard smirked weakly as he looked at Rodney. "You're in trouble
now buddy." He whispered again.

Rodney flushed with embarrassment then regained his composure. "Nice
to see you too." He said matter of fact. A smile broke over his face in relief.

******

Sheppard sat in his room in the late evening light and stared
out onto the New Lantian horizon. His body was feeling more like his
own now. He had been lucky. Carson reminded him of that fact with
every check up. Sheppard knew he was, in more ways than one. It
would be a few weeks before he could return to full duty. Sheppard
wasn't sure he wanted to return at all.

Nearly two months had passed and Sheppard clung to being reclusive in
his recovery. He had thanked his team for their bravery, but he
couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

He could see the change in his team since they had returned from the
rescue. He knew they all were wondering why they were fighting so
hard for something that could betray them at any moment. He was
concerned by the way they had been treated but was relieved they had
escaped disciplinary action. He knew it was Woolsey's way of atoning.

Sheppard was proud of each team member and felt honestly moved that
they had `risked' so much for him; he did not feel entirely worthy
however, but that was part of his nature. He at least knew he could
trust his team despite everything they had been through. It was the
only thing he felt secure with. His command was another thing
entirely. He felt completely alone.

He wondered if the IOA was right. Maybe they should pack up and go
home. The Wraith seemed to be constantly changing tactics now that
they were under pressure. He wondered if they could ever be outplayed.

Rumors were flying that he was considering returning to earth
permanently after being hung out to dry by the IOA. The fiction
wasn't far from the fact he was feeling. Sheppard was trying to make
a decision.

Although the rescue had been successful, the fate of the expedition
was still in question. It would take some time for things to return
to normal and a lot of negotiating on Woolsey's part with the IOA to
set things right. Sheppard considered that enough aggravation for
miss-judging his team.

He had somewhat understood Woolsey's decision to leave him, thinking
him dead, but he found it harder to reconcile the way the IOA had
pressured the military into writing him off so soon. He knew he would
forever feel the black mark in his service record. He was trying to
remember what he was fighting for and desperately wanted some sort of
clarity to come to him.

A soft knock came from the door. Barefoot and nearly ready to
turn in, Sheppard moved carefully off the bed and opened it. Zelenka
stood before him, computer in hand. He was surprised to see him at
such a late hour.

"Ah, forgive me Colonel for disturbing you…Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, no problem Radek, come in." He watched the disheveled,
somewhat short scientist amble in. He appeared nervous.

"Everything Ok?" Sheppard asked.

Zelenka looked around the low lit room. "Yes. You seem as if you were
sleeping. Did I wake you?" He asked, concerned he was out of bounds.

"No, not yet. It's Ok. What can I do for you?"

Zelenka quietly answered. "First things first. This is from Major
Lorne." He handed him a metal canister the size of a soda
can. "Popcorn. He won it playing poker. Thought you might like it."

Sheppard smiled wide."Hey, thanks! It has been a long time." Sheppard
saw that Zelenka had something on his mind. "You Ok?"

"Yes, forgive me, I came to… We haven't had a chance to talk really,
with all the dust settling… I realized that I did not...Well, I just
wanted to thank you, for what you did for me. I would not be here
most likely if you had not taken such a chance. I am grateful Colonel
Sheppard. Just wanted to let you know."

Sheppard stood slightly off balance as he thought of what to say. He
felt humbled.
"I'm grateful too…Glad it all worked out. You kinda did the same for
me ya know. It didn't escape me that you were the reason for
everything working out. Holding off Woolsey and coordinating
everything. Might have made McKay a bit jealous."He said with his
trademark crooked grin.

Zelenka pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I had help but I am glad
someone noticed." He smirked.

"I did. Rodney may be the pro gambler, but you were the ace in the
hole."

"Or the fool in the castle." He mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. No one would suspect."Sheppard replied with a raised eyebrow.

The two men shared a smile then Zelenka remembered his other purpose
for visiting.

"Also, I brought you this." He held out a sleek black computer to him.

"A new laptop? How did you know? Does it get ESPN?" Sheppard joked.

"Yes, well…Not really. It is actually my personal laptop. It has
something on it you might like to see. I didn't want to make a copy…
Not yet, unless you want one. It is rather case sensitive. Anyway, I
thought I might leave it with you for a bit. You can return it to me
in the morning."

"Case sensitive?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure at first if I should show you, but with
everything that has happened…I know it has affected you. I think it
would serve you now to see it."

Sheppard was perplexed. He ran his hand through his hair. "Alright…
Are you sure? I can look at it with you."

Zelenka softened his voice."I think it best that you view it
privately."

"Ok, what exactly is it?"

"It was to be… The last card to be played by the `fool' if things
went wrong with your rescue."

Sheppard was intrigued but felt Zelenka's seriousness as he met his
eyes. "Does Woolsey know about this?"He asked.

"No. That I will leave up to you."

"Ok…I'll check it out. Thanks Radek, I will get it back to you in the
morning."

"That would be fine Colonel. Goodnight." Zelenka turned and walked
out.

"Goodnight." Sheppard mumbled as the door closed.
Sheppard scratched his head as he looked at the thin laptop in his
hand. Somehow it felt heavier than it appeared.

He sat back on the bed and opened it. A small window appeared
prompting a password. Sheppard paused, wondering what it might be
until his hand felt a small slip of paper taped to the bottom. He
peeled it off and peeked at it:

RZ=RM.

He grinned as he entered it into the box.
A video popped up. It was Rodney. The time stamp in the corner of the
video indicated it was made just a couple of days after he had been
missing.

"This is Dr. Rodney McKay. The purpose of this message is to
explain the actions of Lt. Colonel John Sheppard's team in relation
to disobeying orders by embarking on a rescue mission.

The decision to directly disobey orders was solely my responsibility
and in no way, should any other team members be held accountable. I
gave the directive and I accept full responsibility and consequence
for this decision.

The purpose of the directive was intended to verify the whereabouts
of Lt. Col. John Sheppard and bring him home, dead or alive. Our
first choice was alive. There was no evidence to suggest otherwise,
and despite the order from the IOA to abandon him out of speculation,
I believed that the only true course of action was to confirm the
facts.

Each team member acted in good faith under my direction out of
respect for their commander, John Sheppard, and out of loyalty to the
expedition as a whole. The order was given for Atlantis. At no time
was Atlantis in danger and each member understood the risks.
John Sheppard has served the Atlantis expedition in an exemplary
manner for its entire span consistently proving his loyalty, courage,
tenacity, ingenuity and outright exceptional leadership every step of
the way.

He has sheltered each of us from the worst that this hostile realm
has offered while inspiring respect and fellowship on every level. He
has stared down impossible odds time and time again, making
profoundly difficult decisions when no one else could.

Without him, this expedition would have failed long ago. Every team
member understands this and owes him a debt of gratitude for every
time he has saved their lives and this city so we may cling to the
chance of advancing our humanity though understanding the technology
that the Ancients left behind.

He has served without profit or prestige. He has served with great
humility and self sacrifice, willingly for the greater good. The fate
of the expedition and the lives of its members have rested squarely
upon his shoulders and he has carried it in such a manner that has
brought honor to us all.

To lose a man of this character would be a devastating blow. To
outright abandon him for the sake of politics would be criminal. That
was something that I could not let stand.

If you are viewing this, it probably means we failed in our mission
and we failed him. I felt it critical that you understand that he did
not fail us. Don't fail him now. Honor his surviving team and his
memory. Realize what he contributed, what we have lost and what we
all have to live up to. He was a hero to us all."

Sheppard held his hands to his mouth in shock. " McKay?" He
whispered through his fingers. He felt overwhelmed and sobered. He
was having trouble accepting that Rodney thought so highly… of him.
Rodney looked down for a moment then resumed.

"I leave you with a message from Dr. Elizabeth Weir. It was
taped shortly before her disappearance…At the end of her third year
as expedition leader of Atlantis.

There is no one better qualified to speak on his behalf, as she knew
him best. It was her wish that in the event of the Colonel's death,
it be played for all who have come to care for him. I count myself
among the many that do."

The video skipped as the next clip came on. It was her, looking back
at him.

John's heart stopped in his chest. He was stunned to see her,
sitting in her old office, looking vibrant and real in a crisp red
shirt. The kindness in her eyes bound him to the picture. He found
himself reaching to touch the screen.


"This is Elizabeth Weir. I would like to take the time to say a
few words about Lt. Colonel John Sheppard.
If you are viewing this, it means that John has left us. This will
be a loss that for many of us will never heal.

I have had the privilege of getting to know a rare and extraordinary
man. I have come to understand the generous and noble character of
this man by working side by side with him for the last few years.
At first glance, you see a rough edged military man who accepts his
duty for duty's sake. At first glance, he is like any other military
man, bound to his assignment and rank, holding down his allotted
corner of command. At first glance.

Then you take a step closer and you notice the rough edges. They are
not just about field experience, but hint at a depth of character. A
character born from determination, perseverance and loss.

Once you stand next to him, you come to discover the flaws within the
man. The self doubt, the impulse to jump before looking, the
reluctance to take credit where credit is due or to reveal himself to
anyone for fear of being discovered.

And if you look deep into his eyes you will truly see him. You will
see the profound sacrifice, the compassion, the honor and the
integrity. You will see the unconditional commitment to doing the
right and true thing. You will see his un- ending oath to friendship.
You will see his valor and his fear of failing those who were
counting on him.

I have had the opportunity, to see this man in all of his scope; his
best moments and his worst and I have to say that I am better for it.
John Sheppard never thought of himself before others. He never cut in
line or short changed someone to advance or further himself. His
sense of duty to protect ruled him and continually challenged him
beyond his own perceived limits.

He moved through the world with an honesty and ease that inspired
hope and trust. He was only interested in the greater good and in
maintaining fairness and safety for all he was sworn to serve. He saw
the possibilities and he made them happen.

He was the guardian of Atlantis. He was the heart of Atlantis. He was
my most trusted friend and ally. He was my inspiration.

He was an extraordinary man who raised us up so we could see the best
in our selves. He gave us everything he had and more. He never gave
up.
He was Lt. Col. John Sheppard.
He will be missed more deeply than words can express."


The video screen went black.

Sheppard sat perfectly still as the tears stung the corners of
his eyes. He had been holding his breath. With a seemingly
disembodied hand, he awkwardly wiped his face and eased himself down
onto the bed.

His first want was to run to her office and find her there. She would
stay up late, tending to every one's needs but her own. They were so
much alike; forgetting themselves for others. He remembered how he
counted on her being there. He remembered how protective he was of
her.

When he couldn't sleep, which had been often, he would dress and join
her; under the guise of working. He would drink up the comfort of
someone else who understood. She understood him. She would feign
irritation sometimes at being disturbed, but he knew she welcomed the
connection too.

That was the last time he didn't feel alone. It was hard to admit.
There were many thing about her that were hard to admit.
His thoughts shifted to his team. He felt gratitude. Each one was
true family. Something he had gone without most of his life. He
smiled at the thought of McKay. He was as unlikely a friend as any;
his best friend, but Sheppard knew now just how much of one he had
truly been.

He thought of Teyla. She had begun to resemble that sense of comfort
he missed. He wondered if it was something between leaders or
something else. He wondered if he just wanted to see Elizabeth again
through her.

The video crackled back onto the screen, startling him. He
caught his breath and sat back up. Elizabeth appeared again, speaking
to someone off screen, caught in a lost moment of candid
conversation. He felt like he was intruding; seeing something he
wasn't meant to see. He froze.


"Rodney, thank you. I am glad I did this, just in case."

"He is one lucky bastard Elizabeth. He will probably outlive us all.
Feel better now you got that out of your system?

"Yeah. But what if he…I can't bring myself to…"

"Don't Elizabeth. Look, I know there have been a lot of close calls
and I know you want to be prepared for anything, but don't go there.
He is fine. He will be at the briefing soon, hair sticking up and
everything, full of trouble…And I am sure he will give me some kind
of crap."

Elizabeth smiled then looked down pensively for a moment.
"Rodney, there is something else."

"What?"

"This might sound silly, but…Promise me, that if anything did happen
to me, you would look after John? It would mean so much."

"Of course Elizabeth. You know I would, but nothing is going to
happen so stop talking like that. You are both still here. Everything
is fine."

"Ok…I know. Look, Rodney, could you leave me be, just for a few
minutes?"

"Yeah, sure. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I just want to have a moment. That was a lot…These videos are
always hard. I will meet you at the briefing."

"You are really Ok?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Rodney!" She let a little laugh slip out.

"Ok, Ok… See you there."

Foot falls could be heard as Rodney walked away. Elizabeth
pursed her lips and folded her hands to her face as if she was
gathering her strength. A moment passed. She then moved a lock of her
hair behind her ear and sat up strait in her chair. She looked into
the camera and took a deep breath before speaking. Her eyes softened
as soon as she said his name.


"Hello John. I wanted to take the time to share a few things
with you, on the off chance… If for some reason, something were to
happen to me… I need to say some things felt but unspoken… I hope you
will understand.

I want to let you know, that I it has been an honor and a privilege
to have worked with you and to have shared in such an amazing
adventure with you by my side. I would never have suspected that the
rogue air force pilot I met in a frozen outpost and outright
kidnapped would have turned out to be one of the best things to have
happened to me."

She smiled.

"You took an incredible leap of faith and have been rock solid in
your devotion to our cause. You have been endlessly supportive of our
efforts no matter how bad things became. Despite your fears, and yes,
I know you have had a few…You have never let us down and you have
never stopped fighting for what is right.

You kept the faith when I faltered. You kept me sane when things made
no sense. You reminded me how strong I was in my darkest hour and you
kept me honest. I never felt alone."

She paused, and breathed deeply as she momentarily averted her eyes.
"I can't tell you everything…Maybe I am not ready yet… I hope that I
get the chance one day to tell you face to face, but you should know…
You have been my dearest friend. You are so much more.

When you think of me, remember all we have accomplished, all we have
discovered and all we have saved. Remember the chances we took and
the laughter we shared. Remember our bond that we forged together out
of life, death and everything in between.

I trust you to care for Atlantis as you would care for me. She needs
you as much as I have. Watch over her."

Elizabeth swallowed, holding tight to her composure as she moved
deeper within herself.

"The thing that I need to say the most is perhaps the hardest. I know
you to be reserved when things get personal, so I will be succinct.

Of all the people in my life in this moment, you matter to me, most
of all John. On some level, I think you know that. You are loved. I
hope you know that too. You will always be loved John. Don't give up.
Don't ever John. I will always be with you."

Elizabeth wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and smiled. After
pausing for a few seconds, she picked up a remote and stopped the
camera.


The video ended, leaving an eerie stillness to his room. He
could hear the fan in the laptop working to cool its self as the wind
outside buffeted the windows, now black with the night.

Unfamiliar tears streaked his own face. He wiped them quickly, as if
someone would catch him. Silently and deliberate, he closed the lid
of the computer and set it on his night table with an unsteady hand.
He stared out into the darkened room, focusing on nothing in
particular for a while; her voice echoed into him, reaching every
hidden corner.

Eventually, Sheppard stood up slowly from the bed and began to
dress. He tried to push away the emotion welling up but it made
itself known as he attempted to button his shirt. He fumbled with
each one.

He felt a flash of anger toward Rodney, wondering why he never shared
the video with him after she was declared deceased. As he replayed
the video in his head trying to reconstruct the events, he then
realized that Rodney never knew she had recorded the last clip. His
heart ached more than he wanted to allow.

Pulling on a flight jacket, he moved to the door and paused. He
looked back at the laptop with a wash of deep sadness and warm
consolation that exposed him like only she could.

He knew that she had probably never intended to tell him outright how
she felt and making that video had scared the hell out of her. He
knew that she was as private as he was and the only reason she had
followed through was because it was true. He found himself
desperately wishing that time had allowed everything to be said.

He bit his lip with regret and a strange sense of strength as he
rested his forehead against the door frame. "The fool is the wisest
one of all." He said softly.

Revealed to himself, he walked out of his room. Knowing he would not
sleep, he decided to wander out onto the east pier and watch the twin
moons rise over the city.

*******

A warm yellow morning light caught Zelenka in its beam as he
wandered into the science lab with a hot cup of coffee and a
chocolate éclair. As he approached his work station, he heard a
strange sound.

Zelenka stopped abruptly and hid the pastry behind his back out of
reflex. Rodney was in front of him, passed out and snoring over his
computer. He had been there all night.

Zelenka sighed with relief and tip toed around him to sit down. As
he hastily ate his éclair, he noticed his laptop had been returned. A
small note was taped to the top. He licked his sugary fingers and
removed it. It read:

RZ+RM=JS:)

He laughed out loud, causing Rodney to pop up in a daze.

"Wha? Time for the briefing?" He blurted, hair on end and a keyboard
imprint on his face.

"No, the briefing is in an hour. Still time for breakfast McKay."

"Oh, thank God!"He grumbled as he stood up. Through bleary eyes he
saw Zelenka consume the last bite of his sugary treat.

"Are there any more?" Rodney asked in a hopeful child-like voice.

"Just a few…FYI…Sheppard was headed that way. Better hurry."

"Aw crap!" He moaned. Rumpled and stiff, he tried to hurry out of the
room.

Zelenka took a sip of his coffee as his attention returned to the
note. He noticed it had writing on the back. He flipped it over.

`I`m staying. Make me a copy. All of it. Thanks.'

Zelenka smiled with relief once again. "A fool's work is never done."
He whispered.




Fini

Title: Some Are Lost
Author: n7cdrsheppard
Fandom: SGA
Characters: Sheppard, McKay centric. Some team.
Timeline: Season 5
Summary: Sheppard & McKay are abducted and separated on a desert world. Both must struggle to escape and survive. Sheppard is brought to his edge. McKay must hold on to save them both. Buddy bonding, major whump, drama, humor, friendship. Angst. No ship.
Warnings:  Some language, physical descriptions. Some violence.
Rating: PG-13   
Word count: 23,208 total. Seven chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any SGA character or concept.
Author note:
This was epic for me. It is the companion idea to another story I have written, 'The Ghosts Between Us. It is about the bond between Sheppard and McKay, inspired by the song ' Man of Devotion; by Fool's Garden, and the individual known as ltcoljsheppard.
It is dedicated to ltcoljsheppard, and to all the John & Rodney teams out there. :)
Comments welcome.

The ' under the cut ' feature is just not working so follow the link to my LJ: http://n7cdrsheppard.livejournal.com/

   The surface temperature was now dangerously high, reaching into his confused mind and triggering his sense of survival to act. He needed water immediately. His vision was distorting as he fought to keep his balance. His lips were blistered and bleeding, cracking at the corners despite the fabric covering his head and face. The skin that had been exposed previously on his body started to peel away, revealing fragile new layers under attack. Sheppard stumbled to a sparse corner of shade in the diminishing river channel and fell hard on his knees. Digging down again, he found that the moisture was much deeper this time, exhausting him as he worked. His fragile hands eventually contacted the cool clay below, soothing him immediately as he plastered it over his damaged skin. A blissful moan escaped him as he sat back and concentrated on the exhilarating sensation, nearly in tears by the extent of the relief he felt. He placed some on his torso and under his arms, helping his body temp to fall. The idea of Hell personified seemed to be his current reality. “Just need a pitchfork…” He mumbled, slightly delirious. He had stopped sweating some time ago and knew he was in trouble.

    Sheppard feebly resumed his digging like a drunkard until he found what seemed to be miraculous. A wet belch bubbled up and gave rise to a small well of water. He had hit a meager underground spring, but it was enough. Time blurred around him as he wet down his feverish body then drank the contents of his canteen a few times over. He fell forward, unable to hold himself up any longer. He wanted to surrender. He wanted to give up and fade into the ground beneath him. The thought of being free of the physical plane called to him seductively. His fingers reached for the idea of comfort, slipping into the cool soil until he could press in no further. He clung to the surface as if the turning of the planet would eventually shake him off. He wanted to go home. He wanted release. ‘Can’t go yet…’ He thought, reciting it like a mantra as he blacked out at the edge of the hole.

   The odd light gently cut away the black veil over his eyes, one slice at a time. Sheppard awoke wearily, his face, like his body, resting heavy in the riverbed silt. Lying still for hours in the shadows had left him stiff, but kept him from dying. The life sign scanner blinked consistently as it lay near his head; His eyes soon translated the image, prompting him to sit up as he comprehended its urgent meaning. He was just a few kilometers away now from his goal. His fever had backed down and his head was clearer. The suns had traversed the curve of the planet enough to preserve him for the moment, slinking into the molten cauldron of a horizon. He had lost time but gained some strength. He filled his canteen and re-checked his scanner. ”I’m on my way buddy.” He whispered as he looked north into the evening.  

*****

   Nearly an hour had passed as Rodney found himself being pitched into the floor of the cell, crying out as he made contact. The gate latched behind him, leaving an echo to sound out in the ensuing silence.

His hands had been re-bound. The ties cut into him as he pushed himself up and looked around. Sheppard lay in the corner, facing away from him. Rodney scuttled over. “John? John…Are you…”Rodney winced.  Sheppard moaned, and then turned slowly on his back. He was conscious, but hurting more than ever, his face no longer bleeding, but swollen and starting to show the extent of his bruising. “God John, why…” Rodney gasped.

“I look worse than I am McKay…Too many guards to blow our cover…We need to get them apart…” John coughed as he sat up with Rodney’s help. “You ok?”

Rodney nodded, taken back by Sheppard’s appearance. John coughed again then took a moment to breathe. ”You did a good job in there. What did you find? What happened?”Rodney moved closer so Sheppard could save his voice.

“That Wraith worshiping nut job kept hovering, but I think I found us a plan B as requested. I need to have a wee bit more more time but I set the base code to my specs…He didn’t seem to have a clue…”

“McKay, what do you mean…English please…?”

“Oh, sorry. The code in that device…it is an Ancient trick of sorts…a lure. It looks like a code for a virus. It is a work of art, written so enticingly it would seduce any high level hacker.  You can look at it and think, ‘clever, but let me shut it down or turn it on you…’ so you alter it, maybe hoping to kill it or use it on the ‘other guy’. The scary part is, there is an invisible line of programming. And I mean really invisible. Very advanced. It can be activated if you alter the main code in any way and don’t know the trap. I know that the Wraith still don’t recognize the stealth Ancient code symbols very well…they just see what they have always seen…annoying Ancient code. I would have missed it, but luckily with all the Ancient dumpster diving I have done in Atlantis, I recognized the clues. It activates and sends out a signal that alters brain activity. It changes behavior, reprogramming thought to be whatever you want it to be. It basically enslaves…it is a weapon that can be used on a group or populous. The design suggests it was developed near the end of the war. It might be a prototype, but I can’t be sure.”Rodney was nearly out of breath as he tried to slow down and let Sheppard respond.

“Mind control?” Sheppard whispered.

“Yeah, creepy, huh?” Sheppard nodded. “It is like a last resort weapon. Really flies in the face of ethics…if you have any. It doesn’t seem to be race specific either. I think I can use it against them. Sheppard, they had so many strange things in there…looks like they raided a Pegasus Radio Shack. That lab is a make shift testing ground for whatever they find. I think they are working for profit. I don’t think they really understand any of it, or really understand who we are. If they are Wraith worshipers, where are the Wraith? I think it’s weird.” Rodney looked around nervously, hoping he hadn’t been too loud in his excitement.

Sheppard nodded in agreement then became more serious than ever. “McKay, we have to get out of here. They have little reason to keep us alive at this point. I know they are planning to kill me any minuet. I could hear them talking down the hall. They are going to come for me. “

Rodney snapped out of his tech infused rambling, trying to hold the dread back that threatened to spill from his eyes. “John, What can we do…there must be something?” Rodney whispered desperately, fearing he was right.

“Maybe…I have figured out where the exit is, based on their movements. That’s the good news. The bad news is judging from our little window above us, this planet is a real bitch. A hot, radiation drenched bitch. It has two nasty suns. We could have a tough time. We will need a ride off this pop stand. Anything you saw that might get a signal back home or any indication of a gate?”

“Transmitter maybe with a lot of work, but nothing yet to indicate a gate, at least on the surface. I saw our gear…On the way from the lab. It was in a pile on a table…Don’t think they have much use for it.”

“Good, that’s on the way to the exit. What do you need?”

“If I could have one more pass at the code, I could activate it, stopping them.”

“Wouldn’t it mess with us?”

“Not if I program it to recognize our subcutaneous transmitters as a relay to receive a different set of instructions…Like ‘not these guys’. He smiled, helping Sheppard feel a little lighter for a second.

“You can do that?”Sheppard asked, sounding skeptical.

“Watch me! I just need a few more minutes.”He managed a small smile again. Sheppard hung his head for a few seconds, fighting a hidden pain.

“John, what is it?” Rodney touched his arm.

“Broken rib maybe. I’m alright.” He took a few deep breaths then refocused. “Rodney, I don’t know how yet, but I will try to buy you the time you need. Whatever I do, just go with it, Ok?”

“Sheppard, don’t go getting heroic and sacrificing...”Sheppard shook his head, trying to deny that was his motivation.

“Rodney, trust me. I will get you out of this. Just follow my lead. Take this…” He slipped the little blade out from his pant cuff and placed it into Rodney’s. Rodney watched him with fear and bewilderment, knowing that so many things could go wrong and chances are they would. But he reminded himself that he was with John Sheppard, and that alone could even the odds.

“Alright, John. I will activate the code if I get the chance. If I can get to a transmitter, I will send for help. What about you?”

Sheppard took another long deep breath. “I don’t think there are more than seven, maybe eight soldiers here. If I can get loose and to my weapons, I think I can take them but not all at once. Remember, no matter what happens, I will …” Sheppard stopped on a dime, looking at the hallway.

The guards appeared at the gate with the young man. “Take him.” He said, pointing at Sheppard.

“John!”Rodney whispered, frantic as he felt what was coming.

   Three guards entered the cell. Weapons once again found their aim and they motioned to Rodney. “Move away!”One of the men yelled as he threatened to fire. John calmly met Rodney’s eyes, intentionally blinking once to let him know it was alright. He wanted to believe John would fight back or make some kind of move, but he looked so weak Rodney found it hard to believe he stood a chance. He was still outnumbered and overpowered. The guards brought him out and stopped at the entrance of the hall. One of them knocked his gun across Sheppard’s face, appearing to stun him as he fell off his own feet. The young man looked sardonically at Rodney as he jumped, obviously pained by his suffering friend.

”You will come with us to our larger facility. There, you will complete your task.” The pale figure said without emotion.

“Where is this… ‘Facility’?”Rodney asked, hoping John would hear.

“It is north of here on the equator. You will complete your task or you will die. If you please us, we will find other projects for you. We might even let you go.”

Rodney could feel the distain smirking over his own face. ’Screw that!’ He thought. It was clear to him that the young man was lying about setting him free, but he didn’t doubt they would want to mine his talents. At the very least, his basic plan could be fulfilled; he had the time he needed.

“What…what about him? I will need his help!” Rodney asked, his voice crumbling as he pointing to Sheppard with his bound hands.

“He has served his purpose. We have other ways of motivating you.” He looked at his men and gave a small hand wave. Sheppard remained limp and silent, half conscious as he was drug away.  Hanging from the arms of the guards, a thin blood trail marked his journey; his face now freely bleeding from his mouth and nose. Within seconds, he was gone from Rodney’s sight.

‘Damn it! John has to do something now! He’s out of time!’ He thought, panic swallowing him whole. The young man waved his hand again and Rodney was forced from the cell, down the opposite direction. He tried to look back but the guard shoved his gun between his shoulders, pushing him forward. Each step he took away from his friend felt like a second hand ticking away on a watch face, counting out his terror. Rodney flinched with heartbreak, devastated as he suddenly heard Sheppard’s voice cry out, painfully broken and quick, followed by the sound of one high pitched shot from an alien weapon. No one looked back.

 Rodney numbly wiped his face, trying to believe that Sheppard was right. He would find a way out. Somehow.

____________________________*Chapter 4

   Rodney was pushed forward, stumbling off the small terrestrial transport and into the sterile cargo bay. Three guards escorted him though an access tunnel and into another cell, this time with a sleeping pad and a blanket. Before he could protest, the door latched and they were gone. The cell was devoid of any true windows save for the familiar barred hole above to the sky. He felt dizzy, weak from fear and hunger. Distraught, he sat down on the mat and quietly rocked back and forth in the silence, attempting to ease his anxiety.

   He didn’t want to think. His mind no longer felt like a refuge. Instead, it held the graphic moments of the last few days. He rested his head on his knees as he thought about John. After all these years, he felt like an older brother to Rodney, always there if he needed him, but the one who always got all the fringe benefits…He had grown used to the safe feeling of having Sheppard nearby. He was the only person who truly tolerated and maybe even liked him. Rodney whole heartedly wanted to believe that John had found a way to escape, but given what he had heard, his heart felt sick.

   Looking up at the hint of the sky above, he remembered what John had said about the nature of the planet. The tandem suns had not completely risen yet but he could still feel the hazardous potential as the heat found its way in. Rodney knew that even if John had made it out, there was nowhere to go. He felt lost and Atlantis seemed like a distant dream. He knew he had to get to that device and find a way to end this.

   It was not long before Rodney was brought before the ghostly young man again. The lab was more organized but still filled by numerous dead and dying objects from around the galaxy. Rodney noted several possible data devices and transceivers but nothing immediate that would allow for communication. He was led to a modest console with a beat up Wraith data interface, much like a fleshy 1980’s Apple computer. He mused if this was the original design, being so organic in nature. The tech was crude but it would accommodate him. Two guards positioned him. His hands were cut free while one leg was shackled to a nearby post.

   The young man glided up to him, looking less like a human being and more like a malevolent specter. “You may begin. I will wait. You may start with that object there…” He stated flatly.

   His blood sugar nearly non-existent, Rodney felt anger rush into his chest. “You want me to work on that?” He said tersely, pointing to a burnt out component of unknown origin. “I thought you wanted me to complete my original task?” Rodney began tapping his foot in a conceit laced rhythm.

“Your original task is to do as I tell you. Are you incompetent? Should I kill you now?” The young man hissed in a lower voice, his hand moving to his dagger.

Rodney smirked. “You could kill me, yeah, then I would be out of this mess and you would still be trying to get this crap working. If you let me finish what I was doing, you might actually make a profit.” He sniped, sneering at the pale man with distaste.

The young man smiled, adding to Rodney’s resistance. “I can still make a profit. I have the great scientist from Atlantis…Many worlds would pay for your services. That is, if you are alive.” Rodney swallowed tight. “You say you want to finish your task. I appreciate your commitment. It is too bad that your friend did not share it.”

Rodney blinked quickly, giving away his concern. “What do you mean?”

“He was not as formidable as we had heard. Many worlds have spoken of John Sheppard. Many worlds have wanted retribution. Although he endured intensive physical punishment upon his capture, he did at last succumb. His body will sell for a higher price than if we had kept him alive. He is wanted as a trophy on a particular Wraith world. They were the highest bidders. I am sure he is on his way as we speak to our trading partners. His body, I mean. I hear it will be divided up and displayed in the four corners of the Queens hall. You are welcome to share his fate. But I think you would rather have the chance to be set free. In time.” The young man watched him closely, waiting for his reaction.

Rodney let his head fall, his anger swelling up and pushing tears to the corners of his eyes. He was horrified. ‘You repulsive bastard! ‘ He whispered under his breath. He couldn’t think of John like that. He just couldn’t imagine it. He tried to picture him, just down the hall, working out their escape. As he breathed in, a quiet sob caught in his throat as he turned to the young man with a new resolution of defiance.

“Cut the crap. Kill me or let me finish what I started. Take it or leave it.” He forced through his teeth. The young man laughed, sending a chill down Rodney’s spine.

“You are as arrogant as they say! At least you don’t disappoint like your friend! I like you. You will do as I say. You will be allowed to finish what you started. If it works, I will expect you to continue to repair the remaining items. Once I have what I need, we will discuss what comes next. Be warned, I will slit your throat without hesitation if you disappoint.” He pulled out his dagger and pointed to the component Rodney had rejected. “You will see what can be done with this one first. Begin.”

Rodney’s anger began to crest. “No! I will not. Go to hell!” He said bluntly, folding his arms across his chest.

The young man smiled again. “I have been too easy on you. I believe we will remedy that.” With a wave of his hand, a guard approached Rodney and back handed him, knocking him down. Stunned, Rodney felt his face in shock, noting that his lip was bleeding.

He looked up, engulfed in his rage.”Are you deaf! Fix it yourself you vampiric bastard!” Rodney was furious.

The guard approached him again and began to kick him repeatedly in the back. Rodney curled up and closed his eyes as he put his hands up toward his head. Small cries escaped him with each blow until the attack stopped. The young man spoke. “Take him back. Let him think about his situation. If he survives the night, then perhaps he will be more willing. “Rodney remained quiet, his body disassociated from his mind; adrenaline still blocking out his pain. Two guards unshackled him and took him away; leaving the eerie young man to look over the assorted items on the table, thoughtfully deciding which ones he wanted to be operational.

   Rodney was thrown back into the dark and filthy cell. He crawled over to a corner, away from the door. He began to wonder if he really should comply, but he knew it really didn’t matter if Sheppard was dead. That meant he really was lost and alone. He couldn’t figure how Atlantis could possibly know of his whereabouts. ‘I have to choose. I have to do something. Anything to stop this. John, help me... What would you do? You can’t be gone…This can’t be happening, but it is…Why did I think I could just say no…Because you’re an arrogant son of a bitch, remember?’ His thoughts swirled in his head, growing with pain as he revisited each one, feeling more and more hopeless.

   His body began to thaw from the protection of his fight or flight response. The pain chewed into him as he felt the damage taking hold. He closed his eyes, trying to find another place to run to but a metallic clank startled him. A small cylinder rolled into his cell and came to a stop in the center. He stared, afraid to move. A moment passed as the canister stared back. He heard faint click and then it moved slightly. Something crawled out; a grey and red segmented creature about the size his index finger. It had long, whip like feelers arching off of the leading end. It scurried toward the dark seam of shadow that engulfed Rodney. Rodney shot up and screamed, but no sound came. He leapt over it the best he could, coming to rest in the beam of light from the opening above him. He held his breath, scanning the line of light and dark that separated them as if it was his only line of defense. He could hear it making a low, wet sound like someone smacking their lips. He had heard that sound one place before. ‘Oh God, holy crap!...That sound!…The danger in the forest…Ti’an…She said something…Be back before dark…Why?..Oh No!”

 It dawned on him his only option was to keep to the light, as the creature seemed reluctant to venture toward it. He had light now, but he didn’t know how long it would remain. He dared not look up and avert his eyes. Instead he stayed perfectly still, watching feverishly for a trespass in his direction. He watched for hours as he moved with the ever changing angle of the solar illumination. It was all that mattered.

*****

   Hours had come and gone, unnoticed as he stared out into the surrounding room; his manic thoughts had ceased in his survival state of being. Hyper vigilance now powered his mind, fearing every minor sound. The groan of the gate unlatching behind him made him bolt up from a squat. As the guards stepped in, he spun around and stared, almost grateful. They grabbed him and brought him to the door. Trembling under a film of cold sweat, he said nothing as they led him out to the lab.

Rodney felt the terror bleeding out from his feet, at last freeing his mind. The young man stood near a work station, holding the burned out component from their previous conversation. “Are you ready?”He said coldly.

Rodney numbly replied. ” Yes, but I need…I need to eat…I can’t do complex calculations without food…” He whispered, feeling wrung out like a wet rag. The young man pointed to the console. A large plate filled with various proteins and fruits rested next to the monitor.

“Please, eat and then begin.” The guards shackled him once more by the leg and freed his hands. Rodney didn’t question the selection before him. Instead, he wolfed down as much as possible, savoring the feeling of glucose being uploaded to his brain. His anger was still simmering within but he used it to fuel his purpose. He kept quiet and worked on the component for an hour until he was able to free up the information held within. The young man seemed satisfied. He walked to a metal cabinet and unlocked it using a few touches on some kind of entry pad. He pulled out the Ancient object and set it before him. “Begin.” He walked a few feet away and stood quietly, glaring at him.

 Rodney took a deep breath and tried not to let his hands shake as he picked up the Ancient device. ‘Show time…’He thought, hiding his intention behind his trauma.  He connected the module to the interface and found the last few threads of code. Rodney carefully programmed the sequences to block himself via his subcutaneous transmitter. Once completed, he finished writing the directive for the stealth code. As he set the command, he could feel the vengeance in his fingertips as they flashed over the input console. He attempted to set the range but realized there was a problem. He would be limited to a dozen meters due to the shielding of the room. He set it to the widest and most powerful band, hoping for the best. The hard part would be to get the guards into or near the room. The other catch was how to know just how many there were in the complex. He struggled for a moment to establish his parameters, but then his epiphany came. He furiously transferred his objective into Ancient code, sealing the program.

    A few last tweaks on the main program took just a moment. Rodney wanted to smile with satisfaction but it was too dangerous for his pride to come out and play yet. This was his only chance. With one last value, he initialized a countdown, backed by a 48 digit pass code. ‘Good luck cracking this code, asshole!’ He screamed in his head. Pursing his lips, Rodney looked placidly at the young man. “It is done. I can show you.”

The young man walked over, observing the monitor. “You finished quickly. Why?” He looked right through Rodney. Suspicion tainted his question.

“Because I am that good.” Rodney gloated.” Besides, now I can focus on all this…other stuff. You make your profit and I go home.” He tried to be as convincing as possible as he unassumingly looked around at the myriad of alien toys, hoping for something to cause a distraction. One component in particular caught his eye. It was a Wraith alarm module, encased by dried remnants of bio tissue. He picked it up, blocking out his disgust as he casually inspected it. ‘Oh, look! There is a God!’ He thought, slightly giddy. Rodney was keeping track of the countdown in his head as he fingered for the activation switch.

The young man looked him up and down. “We will run a test. If you are correct, I will consider letting you continue. If you are not, you will die. We will start tomorrow.” The young man said, watching him play with the small device. “We will test it on something in here…but not now. Shut it down.” He motioned to the guard, who stepped closer, raising his weapon.

Rodney allowed himself to look into the young man’s eyes. He thought it frightening that his irises seemed to be transparent, without any trace of color or emotion. Rodney realized that he felt no remorse for what he was about to unleash, given the cruelty the young man embraced. He thought of John as his thumb found the switch. “Ok, I just need to…”Rodney began as he set the alarm down, counting the last few digits in his head.

 Seeming to shear the room in half, the alarm blared out in a deafening pulse. He could barely hear the young man yelling as he moved to him, dagger drawn. The guards were squeezing the triggers on their guns as the stealth program activated.

   Rodney dove under the table just in time; his tethered leg catching him and yanking him abruptly to the ground. The guard’s weapons dropped down around him, scattering near his face. The alarm was overwhelming in the small space, making him jam his hands tight over his ears for fear his head would split open. Realizing he wasn’t dead, he turned over as much as he could to see the young man and the guards walking out of the room. It had worked, but he wondered for how long. With panicky hands, he reached to his pant cuff and retrieved the blade Sheppard had given him. He cut off the leather like strap holding his leg and stood up searching for the alarm. Rodney quickly smashed it under his foot. After a second or two to regain his hearing, he picked up what looked like a stunner and checked the hall. He saw a line of men, including the young man, slowly walking away toward the holding cell. ‘Holy crap Batman! I did it!’ He whispered. Rodney nervously followed, stunner aimed and ready.

 ____________________________________*Chapter 5

   Now that the torrid suns had burned themselves away, leaving only the starlight to glisten in the tepid air, Sheppard at last located his objective. A large crater born savanna sprawled below the cliff he rested upon. A tiny light shone in the center like a jewel in a crown. He couldn’t see a ship, but the complex was small; two entrances and not much in between. He suspected it ran underground. Moving gently with deliberate concentration, he folded himself into the shadows of the cliffs that crumbled down to the open plain. His black uniform made him invisible as he moved against the jet colored stone for the next hour.

   He thought it ironic that he had escaped only to return to potential imprisonment. He laughed to himself, ‘I must really, really like McKay….Who knew? McKay…Maybe my best friend ever. That’s funny. Only because you let him be…Shut up John! You have had a lot of friends, just never let them know it…Yeah, John Sheppard…The big disappointment…Family…Air force…Isn’t that what everyone thinks? No…Not this time…I’m gonna find him…I’ll get him home.’ His mind skipped, going back to his escape…

   He waited until he could see the exit ahead, open and waiting for the disposal of his corpse. Just before the door, John let his body fall a bit further in their arms, feigning unconsciousness. They let him slip, preparing to drop him before they dragged him out to be shot. Allowing gravity to aid him, his right arm fell heavy to the floor, breaking his bonds and pulling them off balance, freeing a second concealed, much larger blade to land in his palm. He used the momentum of falling to roll, grabbing the guard who still held him into the path of the other two, blocking them. John used him as a shield as he dispatched him with a swift puncture to the neck then threw the blade diagonally to take down another. John, still nearly horizontal, kicked his leg out in an arc, knocking the last guard down. Having dropped his gun, he drew a knife and stabbed Sheppard in his upper arm as he fell. Sheppard screamed abruptly from pain as he pulled a pistol off the hip of the soldier shielding him and in a single shot eliminated the last threat.  

Sheppard lay there, looking up at the ceiling as his adrenaline injected heart shook him against the dead men lying over and around him. He was momentarily exhausted, having given more than he had. He focused on feeling his fingers as he breathed to regain his focus. It was painful.

Sheppard reached over to his opposite arm and quickly pulled out the knife that stuck out from his bone. He fought a scream as it slipped free. Extracting himself from the tangle of carnage, he sat up and listened to see if the hall was clear. Sensing momentary safety, he grabbed the closest gun and crept up the hall holding his arm; it was just as Rodney had described. Sheppard snuck into the small room housing his equipment and jumped for his scanner. It indicated the building was empty. They had gone.

He scavenged an old field dressing from Rodney’s vest and bandaged his bloody arm, wincing repeatedly as he felt the added pressure. The wound was deep, damaging the underlying muscle and cracking the bone. Nausea threatened as he threw on his TAC vest and gathered his pistol with two spare clips.  His C-4 was missing along with his sub-machine gun and com device.

   A last pass of the room yielded his knife as well as a full canteen left from one of the guards. Seeing nothing else of value, he scanned for anything that would read as a ship or transport. Nothing. Running to the lab, he tried to open the door but was stopped by an unknown locking system. He tried all the other rooms, coming up empty. The signal on his scanner was getting fainter. He had to move, even if it was on foot. “Shit! Gotta do this the hard way! What a surprise John!” He yelled into the empty corridor as he awkwardly ran to the exit, escaping outside.

   His foot slipped, jolting his thoughts back to the moment. The motion pitched him sideways against the cliff, slamming his wounded arm into the rock face. ‘Arrrghh! Crap! Pay attention!  Don’t screw this up John!’ He berated himself. He watched his feet move, one after another in the dim starlight. ”Ok, go slow…like a mine field…Ok, maybe not the best image, but slow and steady…You know how to do this….Easy now….Bend your damn knees….’ His body was shaky and weak, nearly failing if he moved too fast; his strength consumed, he functioned only on determination.

His thoughts continued to plague him as he moved on, revealing his perceived short comings and faults. It was a conditioned program that he would fall back to when he would need motivation, but this time his thoughts seemed to bind his being with a plea. He needed some sort of absolution. His usual ability to compartmentalize his feelings had dissipated like his strength. He was now more open to the truth of his identity than he wanted to face. He felt the weight of everyone who had suffered or had been lost by his actions. ‘If I don’t make it, then this will stop.  I won’t hurt anyone…’ He thought. His foot slipped again, twisting to the side. ‘Damn it! Focus!’ His anger yelled out in his mind. ‘On my honor McKay, I will find you! I have to…This has to be worth something…I need it to be worth something…’

   The cliff face eventually disappeared into the sand, leaving him to cross a short clearing without cover. It was in view of the guard posts, so he eased down onto his stomach and began to crawl, keeping his movement barely perceptible. His belly was tender but the sensation of being horizontal in his depleted state eased the burden he felt. He stopped twice to catch his breath, resting his head in his arms.  He imagined a ‘finish line’ just ahead as he advanced silently.

   Taking cover in a stray pile of rock, he blended in as he surveyed the structure for openings and traps. There was a lone guard on the side entrance but getting there would require traveling out into the light of the yard. Shooting the guard would be loud. He looked toward the front to see two guards and the same dilemma. He crawled painfully slow in the rim of darkness surrounding the base to the back. There were no guards or light, just a rocky pile of debris to traverse. He kept crawling until he made it to the rocks, fading into them one more time. His breath was ragged with his physical angst but he kept it stifled to remain as quiet as possible. His efforts brought him to a small vent that led into the building, obscured by manageable small boulders. A few moments of Zen like concentration and the last of the sweat he had left granted him access. His knife took care of the rest as he popped the fasteners off and removed the metal panel. A rush of cool air pushed past him, giving him an unexpected shiver of relief. His scanner confirmed his hope. McKay was inside. He removed his bandana and drank the last of his canteen as he centered himself, taking one last look at the coal black sky. ‘I can do this…I will find him. Nothing will stop me…I will get us home.’

He tried to imagine he was seeing the sky over Atlantis as he stood out on the control room balcony. He pictured Elizabeth standing calmly with him in the salty ocean air as they took in the wondrous view.  Sheppard smiled into the memory. He missed that. He missed her. Like many things, that moment was now long lost to time. Determined to ignore the profound pain that racked him, he held tight to the simple image as he slipped into the gauntlet ahead.

*****

   Rodney fumbled with the lock, shaking as he fastened it. His fear kept looking for the small creature he knew was still lurking in the shadows. The dank cell before him now held the young man and his company of guards, eight in all. They stood like empty vessels, their eyes vacant like the walking dead awaiting instruction. Confident the lock was secure, Rodney limped back toward the lab, his body aching from his encounter with the young man’s personal assistant.

   The pile of random items held small bits of possibility but creating a transmitter out of the junk before him would take hours without the guarantee it would work. He rummaged around until he was satisfied that was the only plausible scenario.

    He began to gather a few components when he heard weapons fire down the hall. He grabbed his stunner and crouched low, moving toward the door, his heart pounding. ‘God! There must be more…But how many? I’m screwed!  What now?’ He thought, aiming his stunner at the door frame but the hall outside fell silent once again. Rodney crept out, moving like a tortoise as he attempted to determine his situation.

    As he reached the corridor to the cargo bay, two guards charged him, knocking him down. His stunner fell away as he landed on his back, hitting his head. Rodney looked up in time to see the guards. They smiled as they took aim with their guns. He had no escape. Dazed, he instinctively covered his face as the weapons discharged in a deafening burst. The pain was instantaneous, crushing the air out of his lungs, leaving him to gasp. Light flickered behind his eye lids, pulsing with his heart beat. He wondered how fast death would come. The warm trickle of blood spread out over his chest. ‘This is it…I’m dying…Alone and…’  He opened his eyes to see the two mercenary guards lying on top of him, crushing him with their weight. Rodney was alive. “What the?” He mouthed, looking around.

   Sheppard staggered slowly up the hall holding two guns, looking like a frail but deranged ‘Mad Max’. His shocking black hair framed his bloody and bruised face still on the hunt with retribution. It was streaked by the pale clay from the riverbed, suggesting war paint. His once black uniform was disheveled and stained with grey bands of salt from his sweat that mixed with old blood and dust. Almost without a sound, he came to Rodney’s side and knelt down.

“Hey buddy.” He managed with barely a whisper.

Rodney stared in shock.”Sheppard? How? You are so not dead! I knew it! Thank God! Wow!...You look like shit!” He squeaked out despite the lack of air. Sheppard began to pull the bodies off of Rodney, who kept staring as if he was a ghost.

“Thanks…missed you too.” He said, smiling back at him with his gaunt face. Clear of the weight, Rodney got to his feet just in time to catch Sheppard as his legs gave out.

“Whoa! John, easy. Lean back.” He propped him against the doorway. “John, you look like death warmed…How did you…?”He whispered, holding his friend by the shoulders and assessing his condition. Sheppard was breathing fast, his chest rising and falling awkwardly. It took a moment to register how he had arrived at the facility. “You walked! Out on the surface! Holy crap! The temperatures alone…Talk about dangerous! Do you know how far that is?” He said, admonishing him.

Sheppard weakly rolled his eyes at him, swallowing tight. “ Intimately. Pretty damn far. Stupid, huh?” He coughed as he grabbed Rodney’s arm.”Are you hit?” He asked, pointing to the blood on Rodney’s shirt.

Rodney fingered apprehensively around the stain. “No, thanks to you!” Rodney was shaken but relieved.

Sheppard swallowed hard again. “McKay, we have to move soon. There may still be guards…I just took out two more before I got to you. Saw three outside. Is there a ship?”

Rodney tried to assess how bad Sheppard was hurt as he replied. “Not that I know of. There may still be a terrestrial transport. I think they use it to go through a surface gate.”

 Sheppard closed his eyes, still breathing hard. He held his chest for a moment. ”Rodney…got any water…or food?” His voice flickered in and out.

“Hold on. I will be right back.” He scuttled into the lab then returned with a canister of water and shreds of  something that looked like fruit and cured meat. ”Here, this will help.” He said placing it in Sheppard’s raw hands. Rodney sat back and guarded the hall as his friend quickly consumed his offering.

     Sheppard let out a groan of relief.”Awwh…Yeah…Thanks…Needed that.” He focused on Rodney and reached out his hand to him. “Did they hurt you?” He asked protectively.

“ A little, but…I am ok.” He said, looking down with guilt, knowing Sheppard had endured a far more intense ordeal. Sheppard noticed the bruising just starting to show on Rodney’s lip.

“Where are they?” Sheppard asked, looking a bit more present from his food and water ration.

Rodney smiled. “Captive, courtesy of our plan B. It worked! For the most part any way. I was able to get most of them caught in the signal. They are in a holding cell. I commanded them to believe that place was home. Just like Dorothy. They won’t want to leave.” He grinned proudly.

Sheppard closed his eyes again but continued to talk. “The leader…Is he still alive? His men. How many? Are they still a threat?”

“I don’t know. They number eight or so save for the extraneous guards here or there. At least they are locked up. I don’t really want to go back there.” Rodney’s nervousness manifested as he played with his hands.

“Why?” Sheppard pressed, seeing that Rodney was getting fearful.

“They set loose a bug of some kind hoping to convince me to help them. It is still running around. Scary little bastard. Kind of dull with creepy little red stripes. I was able to keep it away from me. You would have freaked too, trust me!”

“Sheppard looked at Rodney with more intent. “Red stripes?”

“Yeah, does that mean something?”

“You could say that. It’s deadly.” Sheppard grimaced.

“Deadly?...How deadly exactly?” Rodney’s eyes widened.

“Deadly as in dead. Quick and silent.”

Rodney nodded, afraid to talk about it anymore.

“What about the device?” Sheppard asked, leaning harder against the wall behind him.

“It is still in the lab. We should destroy it.”Rodney said without hesitation.

“You don’t think it could be of use?”

“Considering my luck using Ancient weapons tech, no. I don’t want that kind of responsibility. Even though I got it to work… It could be used on anyone. I hate to admit it, but it is too much power for anyone. I still have some ethics.”

“Agreed.” Sheppard changed the subject. “Can you tell where the transport is? We need to find the gate. I don’t know if re-enforcements are coming. We may not have much time.”

“Yeah, in the cargo bay just down this hall. Can you walk?” Rodney asked, helping Sheppard up.

“Yeah, think so…which way?”He asked, straining to balance himself. Rodney looked at him like he was a drunk who wanted to drive.

      “This way, but we go side by side, and we go slowly, ok?” Rodney replied as he pointed down the hall.

Sheppard nodded as he changed the clip on his gun. “Yeah.”

“We just have to make a quick stop at the lab.” Rodney saw that he could stand, but was still unsteady. He put his hand under Sheppard’s upper arm, giving him support.

“Easy, watch the bandage.” Sheppard warned as Rodney assisted him.

Rodney could see it under his shirt. It had bled quite a bit despite being triaged. He was amazed Sheppard had made it so far.“John, you’re a crazy son of a bitch.”

Sheppard grinned and took a deep breath in. “Let’s go.” He patted Rodney on the back once, feeling grateful for his help. 

They wandered up the corridor and Sheppard propped himself in the doorway as Rodney found and shot the Ancient device with a laser weapon, leaving only a small black smudge. Sheppard noticed a locked cabinet. “Rodney, what’s in there?” He asked, pointing.

“I don’t know. Want to find out?” He asked, intrigued.

“Yeah.” Sheppard drew his pistol and fired one shot, cleanly splitting the lock open. 

Rodney jumped back but stumbled forward by the sight of the cabinet contents. “Wow…check it out!” Rodney said with excitement. There was a dearth of small weapons and com devices. “Hey, you’re P-90! And my data pad! My pistol…Our headsets!” Rodney snatched them out and handed Sheppard his gun and radio. Rodney felt to the back of the compartment, his fingers falling over a pile of small chain. He quietly picked it up and placed it into Sheppard’s hand. Sheppard glanced at the bundle of dog tags and placed them in his vest without saying a word. Still rummaging, Rodney picked up a large canister and shook it. “What’s this?”

Sheppard grabbed it from him and held it to his ear. He could hear faint clicking sounds.“I think I found a gift for our friends in the holding cell.” Sheppard’s eyes darkened.

Rodney flinched. “Shit! Is that..?”

“Yeah, Sounds like more than one.” Sheppard replied with a wince, holding the container away from his body.  “Oh, grab my C-4, in the back. We might need that too.”He added. Rodney obliged, handing the explosive to him then backed away, staring at the canister. “Do they really know who we are and where we are from?”Sheppard asked, his voice tinged with caution .

“Yes. We’re famous apparently. They had a bounty on you. They wanted to prostitute me. I don’t think they have relayed any information yet. Maybe.“

Sheppard nodded. “We have to keep it that way. McKay. Where is the holding cell?”

“That way…a few yards down.”He pointed weakly, dreading what was to follow.

“Time to settle our debts. I’ll be right back.” Sheppard somberly disappeared momentarily. Rodney heard a single gunshot, and then saw him return without the container.

“Let’s go.” He said, still walking unsteady.

“The leader?”Rodney whispered, unnerved by what he had just witnessed.

“He won’t be sending any messages.” Sheppard said in a low and menacing tone. He pointed toward the cargo bay. Rodney stayed close and kept quiet as they walked away.

*****

    The cargo bay was empty. “Crap! We need a damn ship!” Sheppard cussed out, waving his arms at the vacant space before him. “The transport! Where is it?” He held his head in frustration.

Rodney stammered. “ I don’t know John. They used it when they brought me here. Wait…hold on!” He ran over to a console. “Hey, I found a data terminal for the base.” He skimmed through the readings on the screen.  “John! There is a gate! It has a DHD there.” Rodney continued to read on. “Oh, no…It is…This is bad.”

“What!” Sheppard snapped.

“It’s more than a day’s walk, maybe two…still north of here. We are so screwed! Oh great! It gets worse…”

“McKay!”

“I detect reinforcements…Maybe a dozen or more, about an hour away coming from the south. Same sig as these goons.”

“What about our com devices?”Sheppard asked, feeling the urgency to get moving.

“Too much interference from that big old ball of a sunny fun outside. They weren’t designed for that kind of exposure. Neither are we.”

“Then we have to walk. “ Sheppard said, giving Rodney a haggard look.

“I just said that we are not designed for what lies outside! They might come after us…and it is so hot…” Rodney’s voice was cut off as the outside door broke in followed by gunfire. Rodney dropped as Sheppard caught two guards in mid run, throwing them back across the bay with a spray from his P-90.

“Rodney!” Sheppard bent down. “Rodney, your hit. Can you turn over?” Rodney barely registered what Sheppard had said. He turned with help, watching John as if he was joking. He wasn’t. “Buddy, lift up your shirt, let me see.” Rodney’s only response was a dopey stare. Sheppard eased his tee shirt up and examined him. “Hold still.” He could see a bloody gash, half cauterized in Rodney’s side. The blast cut deep into his skin with the accuracy of a laser, leaving an angry wound but spared penetrating his abdomen. “It will hurt, but you were just grazed. Good thing you have a little…insurance. There is some bleeding. Hold your hand here. Put pressure on it. Stay still.“ He positioned Rodney’s hand then weakly strode over to the dead guards and searched them. He gathered a few items, salvaged a long sleeve shirt  and began to cut their remaining clothing off in strips. He considered the leather armor but realized it was too heavy for the long distance.

“What are you doing?” Rodney asked, confused.

“We need bandages.” His voice was softer, trying to keep Rodney calm. He returned and carefully padded and wrapped Rodney’s side, then handed him the shirt and remaining cloth. Wrap your head, face and anything else exposed. You’re gonna need it. We have a canteen. It’s full. We have to go now. Hang in there and do what I say.”

Rodney stared back, scared by the turn of events. “But John, you’re so weak, you need to be in an infirmary and…” Rodney still did not register that he had been hurt. He was thinking only of his friend.

“McKay, I can do this. You can do this. There is no other option. We need to go now. It won’t be easy. The suns will be up soon and we have to cover as much ground as possible. Nights are short out there, so to make time, we have no choice but to walk by day. We can wait out the worst of it after we get clear of this place and with some luck avoid their recon. Are you with me?” He asked, looking less than convincing as he fought to stand again.

Rodney sat up and feigned agreement. ”Ok, we can do this.” He tried to feel optimistic as the pain began to come to life in his side but he knew the odds were against them, now more than ever. Even though Sheppard looked like he had died yesterday, he could not give up on him. Sheppard had not given up on him.

“Good. I will get you home Rodney. Trust me. “Sheppard looked down at him with an honesty that made Rodney pause.

“I do John. It is… everything else that I don’t trust.”He said, returning the feeling.

 Sheppard smiled as best as his battered face would allow. “Right there with you buddy.” He put his hand out and pulled Rodney up.

*****

    Eventually twilight made it easier to breathe and brought the air temp into an oppressive but non-lethal range of existence. They continued to follow the dry river bed to a small stand of dwarfed tree like forms. As they wandered into the half dead grove, Sheppard suddenly fell hard onto the rocky soil, slamming down on his face and stomach.

 “John! John, are you alright?” Rodney fell next to him and turned him gently. “John?”

Sheppard opened his eyes half way and mumbled.”Shit! That hurt!…Gotta rest. Here …” His cheek was bleeding.

“Ok, here is good.” Rodney parroted out of fear as he pulled out a few rocks out from under him to make him more comfortable.

“Water?” Sheppard whispered as he held his face. Rodney opened the canteen and helped him drink. The water seemed to act like oxygen, returning color to his face and reviving his eyes. Satisfied, Sheppard pushed it away so Rodney could drink. “Thanks buddy.” He was out of breath as he struggled to sit himself up. “ I don’t think…I can go much more.” He whispered again,  looking remorseful at Rodney. He trembled with fatigue.    

Rodney looked back at him, sharing his distress.“ Almost there. We can do this, remember? You said you would get me home. I’m not letting you break your promise Sheppard.” He said, trying to bolster his friend with guilt.

Sheppard watched him for a moment, wanting to apologize, but stopped short. “Ok.” He managed softly. “Any sign of our goonies?”

Rodney checked the scanner.”No. I think they gave up.”

Rodney bristled, wanting to change the subject. He was feeling irritable and weak. His hunger felt like it was burning a hole through his back.“Ok. Now that we have that out of the way, have you seen anything out here that we could eat? And don’t ask me to turn over any logs. You’re on your own on that one.”He snapped as he removed his bandana and wiped his face. He looked back at Sheppard, who was strangely quiet. “John?”

Sheppard put his finger to his lips, motioning to Rodney to be quiet. Rodney froze. Sheppard slowly drew his pistol and brought it near his chest, listening to his surroundings. Small chirps came from all directions, intensifying as the light faded. Sheppard remained immobile for what seemed like an intolerable period of time to Rodney. Like a flash, Sheppard thrust his pistol out and above him, firing two shots. Rodney dove into the dirt, hands covering his sunburned head as the sound echoed out into the dark. He peeked out from behind a boulder at Sheppard.”What the hell!?” He whispered, frightened to the core.

Sheppard was still looking up. ”Wait for it.”He whispered back.

Rodney sat up to see why Sheppard was riveted to the sky. A loud cracking noise broke the silence as something heavy fell from the tree top and down between the two bedraggled men, smacking the ground .

“What is it? Check it out McKay.”Sheppard directed, staring in fascination.

“Are you nuts! You check it out!” He stayed crouched a few feet away. Sheppard holstered his gun and took a deep breath as he painfully rolled onto his knees to take a look. His fingers made contact with smooth scales. He carefully held the creature up, intentionally swinging it close to Rodney. “Damn it Sheppard! Bastard! What the hell is that!” He shrieked, lurching out of the way.

“Dinner…I think.” Sheppard grinned, his white teeth catching the dim light. The creature in question looked like a hairless possum but it was covered in tiny light green scales. It was about the size of a small cat and it had no visible eyes.

“Aww No! You’re kidding…Right?”Rodney cried. Sheppard drew his knife. “Why do I get the feeling I am about to see a side of you I’ve never wanted…”Rodney continued, disturbed at the unfolding scene.

“We need food. Scan it and see if we can eat it.”Sheppard dropped it and turned away, coughing hard for a moment and holding his chest.”Please McKay, I… need something.” He wheezed. The tone of his voice had turned serious, revealing the depth of his weariness. Rodney grabbed his scanner and came closer. “John, I really am sor…”

“It’s ok Rodney, Just tell me. Can we eat it?”

He made a few adjustments to the scanner then ran it over the questionable life form. Rodney gave Sheppard a look of finicky dread. “Yeah, carbon based, not toxic. Or infected, maybe… Swell. So, what now?“ Rodney could taste the bile from his disgust backing up in his scratchy throat. Sheppard plunged his knife into the creature and started to pare it open. He worked quickly as his shaky hands cut anything away that didn’t resemble muscle.

As the inner reality of the creature became clear, Rodney snapped. “That’s disgusting! Oh! Nasty! Its..Its…blue or grey?..Oh my God!” Rodney protested in sick observation, jamming his hands over his eyes. Sheppard sliced off a small bit of opalescent flesh and placed it in his mouth. It melted away on his dry tongue, waking his senses and provoking his stomach to growl. He moaned with pleasure.

Rodney backed away on his rear, flinching at the sound. “Awh! No! Raw?! I can’t believe you did that!” McKay shrieked. Sheppard ignored him as he sliced off a larger piece and ate it with his eyes closed, savoring the sensation of solid food. “Sheppard?”

“McKay, it’s good…man, really good!” He gasped, desperately popping another weighty piece into his hungry mouth followed by three more.

“Really?” Rodney paused, quickly changing his tune as he saw the enjoyment on Sheppard’s face.

“Yeah, try a little.”Sheppard continued, still chewing. He cut a few fat slices and offered them over on the blade of the knife.

 Rodney hesitantly took a piece and braced himself for the taste. He popped it onto his tongue and started to chew, triggering his eyes to fly wide. “Holy shit! That is good!”He garbled as he grabbed the remaining slices from the knife, still outstretched to him by a smiling Sheppard. They disappeared in seconds. Rodney eagerly peered at the pile of unexpected goodness that lay before them. “How much more is there?”

“That was it, unless you want this.” Sheppard pointed at the entrails.

 “No!…I’m good! Full, actually.” Rodney held his hand up in a ‘stop’ pose.  After a few minutes of contemplation, he leaned back and looked up into the twisted canopy.”See any more of those things?”

“Naw. Just the one. Liked it eh?” Sheppard grinned.

“Would be better with some kind of gravy. And some mashed potatoes.”Rodney grinned back.

“Ever wonder what’s in the meat loaf back in Atlantis?” Sheppard asked as he wiped his knife clean and sheathed it. He delicately crawled away a few feet and assumed a horizontal position.

Rodney paused, and then sniped back. “Oh thank you! Now I will!” Sheppard smiled as Rodney joined him, reclining a foot away.

“Hey,…John?”

“Mmm?” He groaned as he closed his eyes and tried to block out the plethora of painful sensations crippling his body.

“Feel better?”Rodney asked, weary but clearer.

“A little. You?” He lied.

“Like I could eat a dozen more of those…things…I can’t believe I did that… For god sake! It had no eyes!”

“Let’s… not think about that. How are you holding up?”Sheppard mumbled as he began to slip into unconsciousness.

“Painful. Exhausted. But, yeah, not as bad. My feet. They feel like they are broken. Crap, everything hurts. I can’t imagine how you’re…“Rodney grumbled as he looked up at the night.

“Me too. I gotta rest McKay, then we head out again.”Sheppard faintly replied as he passed out.

“Ok.” Rodney soon saw that Sheppard was asleep and felt uneasy being alone to wait out the dark.

    The quiet fell around them in a hot shroud that seemed to pin them to the ground. Sheppard slept for a few hours under the sooty sky, his breathing labored enough for Rodney to check him from time to time. As Rodney’s blood sugar stabilized, his fears welled up, keeping him awake. Every part of his body ached, complaining as he felt the hard ground beneath him. He checked his scanner again, noting the gate was a half days walk. Discouraged and afraid, he looked over at Sheppard and gave him a nudge.

“John, do you think we will get home?”

He moaned as he woke, then turned. “We’re gonna try.”He whispered. His injured face made him seem twenty years older as he tried to smile with reassurance. Grateful for the gesture, Rodney returned the smile.

“Do you think Teyla and Ronon made it?”He asked tentatively.

 Sheppard turned away. “I…I don’t... I can’t talk… about that right now. I..Can’t.” His voice broke. Sheppard slowly pulled his arms up over his chest, bracing his injured one as if to protect himself. Rodney hadn’t thought about his friends in a couple of days. He realized that Sheppard hadn’t stopped thinking about them.

Rodney let the silence fall over them again as he tried to sleep.

___________________________________-Chapter 7 *

   A few hours before dawn, they set out again in search of the gate. The warming sky seemed to rise out of the embers from the night before, glowing incandescent at the horizon in a wash of crimson. Small galaxies could be seen with the naked eye, like falling snowflakes randomly spaced across the dark void. Rodney pondered the beauty of it as he walked, his body numb from exertion. He fearfully watched Sheppard in front of him, staggering off balance every few meters and felt certain that at any moment, he would fall and not get up again. He marveled at his friend’s sheer determination, feeling guilty that he had come back for him. He didn’t feel like he deserved such devotion. He saw time and time again how Sheppard had put his life on the line for others and he still found it remarkable. He had even managed to teach Rodney to do the same and on occasion, let go of his selfishness. Sheppard didn’t seem to ask for anything in return. Except maybe friendship. ‘That must be it. They all die, don’t they? His friends…He never gets keep them…He never gets the chance to say goodbye…No wonder…How he must feel…I can’t do that…Not to him.’ He thought.

As they approached the edge of a wide plane, Sheppard stopped and turned to look at him. “McKay, check it out…” He pointed ahead, barely able to hold his arm out. Rodney looked out into the distance. The small arc was visible in the pre dawn light.

“The gate! Sheppard! We’re almost there!” Rodney smiled in disbelief.

“Yeah, we are.”Sheppard bent over, hands on his thighs as he took a moment to rest.

“John?”Rodney asked as he moved up to him, “Are…you alright?” Rodney steadied him, putting his arm around him.

“I’m not doing that great…lots of pain, kinda out of gas…but I can make it. Just need a moment.” He said, looking half alive.

“Ok, but I can’t carry you. My legs fell off a kilometer back.“ Rodney joked.

“Don’t worry McKay, I would never live that down. “ Sheppard replied, standing upright again. “Besides, look at you…Raggedy Rodney…I would never hear the end of it..” He said, throwing the joke back at him. Rodney pouted his clay face, looking like the doll as insinuated, but was secretly relieved that Sheppard could still fight back.

“Bite me Sheppard! Are you gonna piss around or can we go now?”

Sheppard ignored him. “What does the scanner say? Any bad guys?” He asked, trying to balance himself in the wind that was picking up.

A quick look on the screen made Rodney’s face go slack. He fell to his knees. “John, we’re not going to make it.” His blue eyes stared up, pleading his case.

“What? What is it!” Sheppard grabbed the scanner from Rodney’s hands. As he studied the screen, his tired eyes welled up. “Shit! They’re everywhere! Damn it! Not now!” He threw the scanner down in frustration, then let himself fall down into a sitting position. He thrust his hands into his hair and closed his eyes. “Crap!” He yelled.

“John, what can we do?” Rodney asked. Sheppard stayed still for a moment, then looked back at the distant gate.
 
“Help me McKay, how many and where?”

Rodney interpreted the dots on the scanner. “Total of twelve. Four groups of three. Evenly placed around the gate every 30 meters or so. That’s all I can see with this.”

Sheppard nodded, still looking out over the plain. “Do they have any way to track us?” He asked, his focus regained.

“Not that I know of.” Rodney watched as Sheppard checked their weapons one by one. He handed back a stunner in addition to Rodney’s pistol.

“Here, take these.”Sheppard stated, his voice spare and chilled.

“What…what are you thinking?”Rodney asked, nervous by Sheppard’s demeanor.

“We are gonna take them out. You will need to do what I say, when I say it. Clear?” Sheppard said sternly.

“Oh come on! You can’t even stand! How in the hell are you going to stop twelve armed men in your condition? Hello?! Memo to Sheppard! Are you completely crazy from exhaustion or do you just want to commit suicide?”Rodney ranted abruptly, arms waving. He wasn’t prepared as Sheppard lunged forward.

Faster than Rodney had imagined, Sheppard was eye to eye with him and seething.”We are going to do this! Even If I die in the God damn process, you are getting home! I won’t settle for less! Are you fucking going to help me or not?” He spat through his teeth. His body was shaking.

Rodney tried not to panic as he held his hands up in defense. “Sheppard! Calm the hell down! Yeah! I‘m going to help! Don’t you think I want to?” He felt his anxiety explode in his chest. ”I’d actually like to freak out and run screaming because that’s my style, but you beat me to it!  Look at us John! We’re screwed! I am seeing your aura for God’s sake! I can barely walk without crying and you,..Shit, you might drop dead any minute! That’s an issue!”

He lowered his strained voice as Sheppard stared through him, mouth open and seemingly in shock. Rodney’s thoughts raced through his head trying to grasp why John was behaving so. ‘Why did he… He knows this is wrong…He’s smarter than this…’

Rodney held his ground.  “Look Sheppard, we need a plan. A good plan. And by the way, if I go home, so do you. Both of us, alive. That’s the deal. “

Sheppard kept staring. Rodney could see the shame in his eyes, at last held into the open. “That’s it! You want to get killed! It would be a hell of a lot easier than risking something like this again…You matter Sheppard! You mattered to Elizabeth and everyone else you couldn’t save! You matter to me!  Snap out of it!  I am not letting you off the fucking hook!” Rodney stopped, realizing he might have gone too far. He felt raw and afraid. Rodney trembled as he took a deep breath.

 Sheppard backed away slowly, quietly holding his head in pain. The wind seemed to hold him up. He vacantly looked at Rodney, his hazel eyes catching the light of the sunrise.  “I’m sorry… McKay. Your right…I was out of line…We both go home.” He whispered as if disoriented, feeling stunned and ashamed. He collapsed onto his back and stared up. “Ok,… We don’t panic. Forgot that rule for a moment.” Sheppard mumbled to himself, seemingly disconnected.

 Rodney remained quiet, hoping he hadn’t made things worse. He tried to organize his thoughts as his emotion receded. He slowly centered himself and softened his tone. “John, before we do this, I need to know. What can you handle? And don’t bullshit me!” He could tell that Sheppard was so strung out in his weakened state, he had little control over his emotions, let alone his injured body. The beatings he had taken at the beginning of their ordeal had been brutal, robbing him of his stamina and strength. He calculated that it had been nearly a week since Sheppard had eaten a decent meal. He had endured almost five days of extreme solar exposure and dehydration. ‘He really is a crazy son of a bitch!”He thought.

Rodney moved to sit by him and was immediately subdued as he took a closer look at his friend; tears of duress streaked away from the outer corners of Sheppard’s eyes as he lay motionless under the now salmon sky. Rodney knew he was soon to arrive at the same grim place.

“Hey, John, tell me…How do you feel? What can you tolerate?”He asked kindly.

Sheppard attempted to speak. His voice barely audible, now torn apart from yelling. “Really weak…Can’t think very well. Walking is hard; makes me dizzy but… I can do it. Can’t run. Balance is gone. My vision is off but I can shoot. I will need to be close.”He said quietly, keeping his eyes averted.

Rodney opened the canteen and drank then passed it to Sheppard. “Ok, we can…work with that. I can see, but I can’t guarantee in what color spectrum. Maybe I can run? It will hurt like hell, but gunfire is always a good motivator. I can shoot, but badly, as you know. So, do we have enough between us to make this work?”Rodney smirked with the question.

Sheppard finally looked at him, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, think so. Timing will be everything. We can get close, then wait till nightfall. We will need cover. It will give us a chance to rest.” He capped the canteen and gingerly turned on his left side in preparation to get up.”McKay?”

“What?”Rodney said.

Sheppard looked him in the eye intentionally, his gaze heavy with atonement. ” I…I’m really…not myself. Sorry buddy.”

“You’re the same stubborn bastard that I have come to appreciate as my friend. And you’re welcome.” Rodney replied calmly as he stood up. He felt as if his legs were broken. “Ok. You lead, I will follow. Head out now?”He puffed out, wincing at being back on his feet.

“Yeah.” Sheppard said peacefully, accepting Rodney’s hand up.

*****

    The heat of the day had been vicious, baking the ground into an impenetrable surface, unyielding to any attempt at digging. Sheppard lay behind a large black boulder, checking the level of the canteen. He took a drink and held it in his mouth for a moment, letting it soothe him. ‘This is the last one. For now.’ He thought. He could hear Rodney muttering something to himself. “McKay.” He scratched.

Rodney sat near him in the shallow shade of the rock, bandaging his blistered feet with strips of cloth. “Oh yay! More good news?” He whimpered, sensing Sheppard’s disappointment.

“This is the last of our water. Can’t dig down here. This is yours.” Sheppard sealed the canteen and tossed it to Rodney. He leaned his head back against the rock and closed his eyes, seeking escape from the rippling heat that twisted the landscape.

“Then I had better just think how ‘not thirsty’ I am. No problem. Speaking of life and death problems…And we have so few…How much more of this solar barbecue are we in for?” Rodney asked in a bitter tone.  He fought with his bandana, trying to tie it on properly; it being smaller after stealing fabric from it.

“Hour maybe.” Sheppard whispered faintly as he put his hand up to his face, feeling moisture. His nose had started to bleed. He put pressure on it, making it stop. Rodney flailed next to him.

“Fucking fabulous!” He spastically yanked off his bandana in frustration.” Stick a fork in me, because I am so God damn done! My hair is drying up and blowing away…I am gonna die bald and burnt to a crisp! How ‘bout you?” Rodney’s sarcasm waivered in the hot wind. Tears sneaked to his eyes; his resolve worn out.

“I don’t know…Rodney. I…don’t know.”He wiped his bloody fingers onto his pants. He looked near death if he stayed still. “I have been thinking… About our ‘plan’. It might not be the best, but hear me out?” He croaked.  Rodney just nodded, hoping it would all be over soon. “Your data pad…Does it still work?”

Rodney grudgingly pulled it off his back and fiddled with it. “Yeah, if you want to listen to ITunes or something but I don’t think this is really the time. The battery is low.”

“McKay, can you make it be loud? Ya know, like blast a sound or a song loud, really loud?” Sheppard opened his eyes.

Rodney wrinkled his cakey face at Sheppard.“What? “

“McKay! Can you? Yes or No?”Sheppard gasped out.

“Yeah, but…You want a distraction?” He asked, squinting.

“Exactly…Something to make the goons go running. Preferably away from the gate.”Rodney thought about the question pensively. He opened the canteen, took half his ration, and then gave the rest to Sheppard. Sheppard reluctantly accepted after Rodney pushed at his good shoulder.

“Does Celine Dion work?”Rodney continued.

“Who?”

“She’s Canadian…High pitched.”He smiled.

“Fine, whatever. Just has to be loud.”

“No problem. That isn’t the whole plan, is it boy wonder? Cause we’d have better odds in Vegas.” Rodney sniped.

“No, and by the way… you’re the sidekick. I’ll know more at nightfall.” Sheppard snarked back just before he coughed repeatedly, making his nose bleed again. Rodney threw a wad of tan fabric at him. ”Thanks.”Sheppard mumbled as he held it against his face.

Rodney put his hands over his eyes and rested into his palms.“We are one bloody limb away from a Monty Python skit.” Rodney quipped, trying not to panic from his discomfort and delirium.

“Shut up and rest McKay. We go soon.” Sheppard continued to hold the cloth against his face as he closed his eyes again. He focused on the hum of the heat, trying to imagine it was the sound of a far off Lantian sea. They were almost home.

*****

    Nightfall seemed to bring little relief as Sheppard and McKay looked out at the gate, now blanketed in the remnants of a smokey twilight. The twelve guards stood now in three groups, making them more manageable. Sheppard studied the scene then turned to Rodney.“McKay, we are 400 meters from the gate. We can follow the rocks down to about 100 meters. I need you to place your data pad with this…”He held up a block of C-4. “ Set it with your pad right about there, by their transport. Then get back to me. I will plant the rest of the C-4 there, and there.” He pointed at two locations in front of the gate but before the transport. “We are gonna funnel them between the charges. I want you to run and get behind me before they go off, dial the gate and I will cover you, then follow you through.” Sheppard’s eyes were glassy and sluggish.

Rodney nodded as he checked his weapons then looked at his friend; his gut falling in fear. “John, I…I want to say something, before…” He paused, seeming conflicted.

“We will do this McKay. We are going home. Promise.” Sheppard disconnected his P-90 from his vest.

“John, please, I want to…”Rodney whispered.

Sheppard cut him off. “Not till we’re home. Time to go.” He pointed in the direction they were to head, pushing away the emotion he was feeling. Rodney took one last look at him then started to move.

   They moved undetected among the dark stone and took their positions. Rodney nervously crawled out, trembling the entire way to the unguarded transport. Covered in sweat and trepidation, he initiated his data pad, placing it under the rear power compartment along with some C-4. Somehow handling a chunk of plastic explosive was easier to face than the thought of a venomous bug.  He was relieved it wasn’t the latter.

   Sheppard took longer, painstakingly moving over the rocky soil on his belly. His movement was slightly clumsy as he tried to alternate taking the pressure off his arm and ribs as he crawled. He placed the remaining charges, ever watchful to the movement of the guards. He gave what he had to complete the trip, coming to rest behind a stone just out of the blast zone. Rodney was waiting for him. “All done.” He said, holding his side. “You ok Sheppard?”

He nodded, out of breath, holding his ribs. Once he could breathe, he whispered in Rodney’s ear.

“It’s official.”

“What?”Rodney mouthed, confused.

“You’re not a chicken shit.” Sheppard whispered, grinning proudly at him. Realizing it was a compliment, Rodney smiled and held up his middle finger. Sheppard squelched his smirk then pointed. “Move to the boulder by the gate. When the C-4 detonates, dial Atlantis. I will cover you. Go!” They scrambled awkwardly into their respective positions, waiting for their cue.

    Sheppard strained at first to hear it , but within seconds, the sound of a woman’s voice echoed out into the clearing. The guards, one by one turned and slowly walked defensively toward the sound, weapons drawn. Sheppard held the detonator in his hand, waiting for the right moment. Two of the three groups walked into the trap. Four men stayed at the far side of the gate. Sheppard realized that left Rodney to run right into them. “Shit!” Sheppard whispered as he moved to cover him. His body began to fail, a little more with each step among the rocks. ‘Just a little more…I have to do this!…Damn it John! You will do this!’ He commanded. Agony ripped though his body as adrenaline pushed him into overdrive.

   Barely in time but as planned, he was behind and to the side of Rodney as he triggered the explosion. The phosphorescent flash blotted out the clearing for a few seconds; metal shards scattered in every direction out of the smoke. It was difficult to see if anyone in the blast zone was still standing. Sheppard saw Rodney break into a run. The remaining guards raised their weapons and took aim. Sheppard instinctively tried to run forward, firing his P-90 in a wide arc. He saw two men fall as his legs gave out, throwing him down onto his injured arm. He yelled out as the searing pain of his effort cut into him. His P-90 skidded out of his reach.

   Rodney dove behind the DHD, then popped up and started to dial. The two remaining guards pressed forward, firing at the console. Sheppard clawed to his knees, drawing his side arm and fired again. The third guard fell immediately.  Rodney frantically completed the sequence and pulled his pistol out, getting off two shots. The fourth guard dropped, but not before hitting his target. Rodney’s chest arched as the white blast lifted him up and back, dropping him just short of the active portal. “McKay!”Sheppard screamed as he fought with all his strength to get to him, his body no longer responding to his commands. Sheppard stumbled as he reached him. Rodney was conscious but paralyzed. He looked at Sheppard with terror, eyes wide. Something was coming.

    A lone guard was running from the direction of the explosion. Sheppard spun on his knee, dropping him just a few meters away with his pistol. Gasping for air, Sheppard searched the area with his eyes. It was all clear. He felt something wet and fingered his chest, touching on a small sting of pain. The burning sensation expanded within his body and filled his ears with a dull pressure. He saw the blood, glistening in the blue light of the star gate as it escaped the fabric of his vest. ‘Not yet!’ His mind cried out. Adrenaline surged again and raged against the new pain that was consuming him. Sheppard willed his body up and threw himself forward, using his momentum as he latched onto Rodney’s arm. They pitched through the gate just as a new wave of soldiers arrived at the clearing.

   He crashed against the ruddy colored floor of the gate room, sliding a few feet into something. The floor was cool against his face. He could see Rodney breathing, staring back at him. As if under water, muted sounds and shadows scattered around him as his vision began to fade. A slick of blood spilled out from his body, blooming wide. It felt heavy against his skin, lulling him away into the dark.

*****

   The view from the patio comforted him inside as he leaned against the rail. The mid day sun chased the chill of the ocean air off his face. He ached for distraction, trying to think of anything else but his recent ordeal. There were too many images playing in his head. He had survived, but it felt like a hollow victory. He hated feeling helpless. He hated feeling. When it came to friends, feeling their absence disturbed him more than he wanted to admit. He heard the mess hall door open behind him.

“Hey.” Ronon said, walking up to McKay.

“Hi.”Rodney replied, rubbing his neck. His skin itched, still peeling from his solar exposure. “How are you doing? You look better.” He asked half heartedly, looking up at Ronon.

“I’m kinda sore still, but I’ll be fine.” He looked thoughtfully at Rodney, seeing he was distant. “We all miss him…”He said quietly.

“Yeah. It’s not the same. It feels wrong.”Rodney whispered.

“I know. It will take time.”Ronon looked out onto the water. “He saved you. He stopped the assault. I couldn’t hold them. If he hadn’t shown up, it would have been over. We’d be dead.”

Rodney ran his hand over his face, stressed by the facts he was trying to forget. “I still think it was too high of a price. A lot of people were saved, but we suffered for it. He suffered. What did we get out of it other than suffering and loss? It’s a hell of a pattern to keep repeating, never knowing who we are going to lose just so we can learn more about the Ancients. ”He took a few steps away, trying to ward off his anger.

“And the Wraith?” Ronon asked.

“Ya know, sometimes I just want to say that’s not my problem and go home to my own galaxy. But I guess,…It’s not that simple. I don’t know. He didn’t have to come after me. I guess, I feel…guilty or something. ”Rodney looked away.

Ronon turned his back to the sun and faced McKay. “ Don’t. He wouldn’t want you too. He knew what he was doing. I just wish I could have been there.” He put his hand on Rodney’s shoulder in reassurance. Rodney reluctantly nodded, knowing he was right. It had been Sheppard’s choice. Something he would have done for any of them.

The doors of the mess cracked open and Carson peeked through. “Gentlemen…”

*****

     The feeling was soft and warm. He didn’t want it to stop as it moved delicate and hushed through him like a ray of morning light. John Sheppard opened his eyes slowly to see a beautiful woman smiling at him. Teyla caressed his face in a tender motion, following the angular contours. “John, can you hear me?”She asked quietly. Clouded and immobile, he blinked once, attempting to acknowledge her. He couldn’t speak. He tried to focus on her face but his vision flickered in and out. “You are going to be fine, John. You made it back. Rodney is alright.” She eased his black hair away from his forehead. Her words filtered in softly and began to make sense.

He struggled to mouth one word. “Ronon?”

 Teyla nodded. “He is alright as well. Some were lost, but we made it. You will be alright.” Her words echoed into his fractured consciousness, connecting directly to his unguarded shame and guilt. Guilt for all the ones that never made it back. He thought of his men. He thought of Lt. Ford. He thought of Elizabeth and his chest tightened painfully against his wound. Emotion overwhelmed him inside, waking his panic. Rodney appeared above him, smiling.

“Hey Buddy! Where have you been? Didn’t recognize you without your mask!”Rodney’s relief bounced out like a rubber ball. He took Sheppard’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s been a while…But, you’re going to be up and around soon. And by the way, I am never going camping with you again!”

Sheppard tried to respond, but couldn’t. He swallowed, still searching for his voice. He could hear Ronon nearby, talking to someone. Shadows blurred and shifted as he fought his upwelling fear. He needed to get to the surface…

Carson soon hovered over him, looking at him with kindness. “Alright, let the man rest. Off with ya now!” Sheppard heard the murmurs die down as Carson remained, watching him. “Can you hear me son?” He asked gently.

Sheppard blinked again while he looked into the doctor’s deep blue eyes. He struggled to find his words, but still fell short, choked with pain and confusion. He managed to raise his hand from the bed and toward the doctor. Carson quietly took it and nodded with reassurance. “It’s alright. We have you John.” Minuets passes in silence as Carson let him get his bearings.

Sheppard at last managed a feeble whisper. “My…Men? Lost?” His eyes desperately searched the Scotsman.

Carson looked at him with compassion, sensing his old wounds as well as his new ones. “Aye son. Two. The rest of your team made it home. You did all that you could. You saved many. “

Sheppard listened, tightening his hold on Carson. “From one who knows lad, some are lost, no matter what we do. Sometimes, it’s out of our hands. To live, you must let it go.” He said quietly. The wisdom in Carson’s eyes seemed to permeate Sheppard. He blinked again and squeezed Carson’s hand before releasing it. The tightness in his center began to relax.

“Carson?”Rodney’s voice broke the moment.

Carson turned. “Yes, Rodney?”

“Can I just have another minuet?”He asked, looking self conscious.

“Alright, but just one. He’s still weak and needs rest. One minute.” He said, smiling back at Sheppard before he moved away and out of sight.

     “John?”He whispered. Rodney peered at him, emotion weighting his quiet smile. Sheppard slowly met his eyes. “I just… wanted to say…Thank you…for not giving up …for not saying goodbye. You kept your promise and got us home.” Rodney smiled again meekly, clearly relieved he was able to express himself. “I’m proud that you‘re my friend…best friend…actually.” He played with his fingers, nervously awaiting some kind of response.

Sheppard searched for his words again. Rodney saw him struggling, so he leaned down to hear. “Back at you…buddy.” He whispered faintly. Rodney felt his friend’s hand give his sleeve a tug. Somehow surprised, his smile widened while his blue eyes reflected his gratitude. “Still think… I’m crazy?”Sheppard whispered again, his voice failing with the effort.

“That would be ‘crazy son of a bitch’, actually, and yeah, I do.”Rodney whispered back, grinning. Sheppard gave a small smile as he felt the pull of sleep start to overpower him. Sheppard closed his eyes as he heard Carson chase Rodney out. His thoughts softly threaded the needle of his consciousness, looping back on Carson’s words over and over as he fell away from his fear. He was letting it go.

     Fini